Get Outta My Head
by I Dazzle You
Summary: All fairytales don't always end in happy endings. My prince had issues of his own. He often took them out on me. He had a past i had yet to uncover. " You made me say it Bella." I wish he would stop making me feel like this.
1. Chapter 1

Get Outta My Head

EPOV

I saw Tanya at the local coffee shop ordering a muffin. She leaves crossing the street to the library. I silently follow her. She goes inside to a table where she meets a guy I know to be named Demetri. They hug and sit down and talk. I can't ear them, but I have a pretty good idea about what there talking about. Me. He's spreading lies about me to her. I see them laughing now, he's probably making fun of me. Why is she laughing?

I see Demetri reach for her hand. He grabs her arm, I think he's hurting her. He moves her sleeve upwards to reveal an ugly bruise I had accidently left her the day before. His face shows concern. I try to get close enough so they won't see me. I hear him say "Did he do this to you?"

I can't see Tanya's expression, but I know that she will tell him the truth.

"Yes, he did. I don't know what I did for him to hurt me like this."

I didn't hurt her. I just grabbed her so she wouldn't leave. She's lying to him. She's spreading lies about me. I thought she loved me. I love her. I only want what's best for her.

"You have to leave him, especially if he's hurting you like this. You deserve better than this," Demetri tells her. "Yes I know what I have to do. I don't want to live like this anymore, I love him but I don't want to be like this anymore." Tanya tells him.

She's going to leave me. No. I can't let that happen. I don't know why their lying to each other, I would never hurt her. I love her, I can't let her leave me. I need her.

(…)

I wait quietly in Tanya's room, waiting. I hate when she makes me wait for her.

She comes in, she sets her things down on the floor and lays on her bed.

I click on the light, she jumps up from the bed. "Edward! How did you get in here? What are you doing here?" she whispers, so her sleeping father won't hear.

"Same way I always get in here, to watch you sleep." I reply with a smile.

"Ohh, okay, I had no idea you watched me sleep."

"Tanya, why were you at the library talking to Demetri? I thought we agreed you weren't going to be friends with him anymore." I said.

"Uhh…we had to meet for a school project. And I never decided not to be friends with him. You just assumed since you didn't like him that I would stop talking to him. And Why are you following me?" she said with an angry tone I didn't like.

"I don't want you to see him anymore. And I heard what you were saying. You can't leave me." I said

" I'm sorry Edward, this is getting more and more complicated. I think we shouldn't see each other anymore. Since the last couple months, its been painful, physical and emotionally."

"What are you talking about, I would never hurt you."

She raises her shirt over her stomach to show a big long scar, and raises her shirt sleeve to show multiple bruises. I look terrified at her.

"There are more I can show you, there's a bruise on my neck that you left yesterday. Oh and a gashes on my legs when you kicked me."

"Those were all accidents, and you know it. You made me angry. You made me do it."

She punches me in the face. My nose is bleeding. I look at her confused. 'What'd you do that for?"

"You made me do that, you made me angry. I'm so sorry Edward, it was accident" she says in a mocking tone. "That's how you sound. Ridiculous. Please leave. I don't want to see you anymore."

"What?" I lunge for her and punch her in the face over and over and over and over. My knuckles bleed from the constant meeting from my fist to her face. She's unconscious, I check her pulse she still alive. I look at the blood on my hands. I'm a monster, I don't understand how I could hurt her.

I walk downstairs to wear her father is sleeping on the couch. I wake him up. "Your daughter needs your help. I'm so sorry" I whisper. He looks at me confused, then runs up stairs. "TANYA! WAKE UP!' he screams. I call the ambulance, there on their way.

All that happened after that and before I met Bella is a blur.


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

The cafeteria was buzzing about the new boy. All I know is his name is Edward, and he's Emmett's adoptive brother. Emmett is like the big brother I never had. He's big and strong, but inside he's very gentle. He's dating my cousin Rosalie, their both seniors at Forks High. She lives with me and my Dad Charlie since her parents died a couple years ago.

Me and her aren't that close. For some reason she acts like she doesn't like me, even though we're related. None the less, we get along. I just cant wait to she goes to college. Ima miss her. Sike! She act likes I'm not their most of the time. Whatever. I can't choose my family.

From what Jessica has told me, Edward is gorgeous. He's quiet, doesn't speak very much. He's suppose to sit with us at our table, Emmett invited him.

The whole cafeteria goes quiet when he walks in. He walks to our table with his head down. It seems he doesn't like nor want the attention. Emmett introduces him to everybody. Edward doesn't really make a lot of eye contact. Emmett told me in the morning that I would have Biology with him. I hope he's friendly enough to talk to me. I see Mike Newton at the corner of my eye. I get up to greet him with an awkward hug. "Hey Mike, can I talk to you for a second?" I say. "Yea, I actually wanted to talk to you about something…" he says shyly his baby blue eyes casted down.

We go to an empty table to talk. Me and Mike have been going out for a about 2 months now. At first I really liked him, then it started getting awkward. I noticed that my feelings for him would not go beyond friendship.

"So.. Bella, I think it would be better if we just stay friends…"he says shyly. I smile. Great he feels the same way I do. He gives me a confused look seeing my smile. "Mike, that's exactly how I feel!" I hug him. "Wow, so we can still be friends right? I mean it doesn't have to be awkward at all," he says. "Yeahh, this is the best brake up ever." I tell him. We go back to the table with smiles on our faces. Rosalie gives me a questioning look, and Edward a curious glance. Rosalie suddenly stands up. "Bella can I talk to you for a moment" Me confused, I nod and get up from the table. We go outside into the hallway. "What's up Rose?" I ask her.

"Bella, I over heard the whole conversation. I can't believe you broke up with him. I thought this would work out for you. You are so stupid, I gave you the opportunity and you threw it away."

"What are you talking about? Why were you eavesdropping anyway? Its none of your business!" I almost scream.

" It is my business. I'm the one who set you guys up. And don't you forget that!" she screams.

"If you weren't thick enough, you'd know that the brake up was mutual."

"Your so selfish, always thinking about yourself. I never pegged you to be an ungrateful little bratt. With that attitude you'll never get a boyfriend. You be all alone just like Uncle Charlie."

Her words stuck. It hurt me for her to say that to me an about Charlie. Ever since my mom left him he could never fall in love or meet anyone again. Rosalie seeing that she hurt me, she walk back into the cafeteria satisfied.

I leaned against the wall thinking about her words. I didn't think I'd be alone…I slid down the wall crying. The door opened. Its probably Rose for round two. I looked up to meet a pair of beautiful light green eyes. It was Edward, I was slightly dazzled by his eyes that I didn't understand what he was saying. "I'm sorry what did you say?"

" I said, are you okay?" he said in a very sexy voice, woah.

"I'm fine, why are you out here? Lunch isn't over, you should be bonding with your new classmates or something, not stuck out here with me." He sadly smiled at me.

'I'd rather be out here with you, I don't really know anyone in there" he says while looking back at the cafeteria.

"Well, you don't really know me either.." I say with a smile

"Your name is Bella, you have brown eyes and like chocolate" he said while whipping my tears. We stand up as the bell rings.

" Well, everyone likes chocolate" I say.

"Not me, but I know you do"

"How?"

"Emmett talks about you and Rosalie all the time" he says. At the mention of Rosalie's name I scowl.

"Did you and her have a fight?" Wow he is very attentive.

"Sorta, but I don't want to talk about it, plus we have to get to class or we'll be late for biology.

We walk into the class and sit a the only empty lab table. Throught out the class we make small talk as we work.

"So Edward, tell me about yourself."

"Oh, I'm not that interesting, I'd like to know more about you" He says looking into my eyes.

As I jabber on about myself to him, he looks more and more interested. He makes a concentrating look and then scowls and turns away. I wonder if it was something I said.

"Whats wrong Edward?" I ask him.

"its nothing, you just remind me of someone.." he whispers

The bell rings, and with out a goodbye Edward the mysterious new boy races out of the classroom. I'm so confused, why'd he leave like that. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I'll stop by Emmett's and ask.

EPOV

I race out the biology room as quick as I can. I need to get away from Bella. I don't want to hurt her. I can't get to close. She reminds me so much of Tanya. No, I can't think like that.

When I saw her cry she looked so hurt and sad. I just wanted to make whatever hurt her go away.

Now that I'm here I cant get carried away. I can't get too close to anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I get to my car that Carlisle bought me as a welcome gift. I reach in the glove compartment and take out my prescribed pills. I put two in my hand and stare at them. Breathe, relax Edward.

These pills always make me be something that I'm not. I hate taking them. They make me feel numb. I cant feel anything.

I didn't know at the time. That yesterday was the last day I would ever take those pills.


	3. Chapter 3

Umm I own nothing…!

BPOV

Oh great, P.E. Usually I was okay with P.E. The class didn't bother me that much, sometimes I even had fun. People might call me athletic, just because I'm tall and lanky. But trust me I'm not. Some sports I'm good at like softball and volleyball, are always fun for me. I'm okay at running, sometimes I beat my greatest mile time, but other times I'm not, especially when I've got something on my mind. So since the fight with Rose, I've been a little bit out of it today.

Today we running 5 laps around the gym. Any other day this would have been no problem, but I couldn't help think about what Rose had said at lunch. It made me angry, why would she say that? Why was she acting like this. I don't want to stress about it too much, I've got a test coming up in a couple of weeks and I want my head clear for that.

After P.E I went to my car. Waiting on Rose incase she needed a ride, I doubt it – mostly she goes with Emmett. But since Edward's here I don't want to leave Rose incase she has to go home.

"Hey Bella! Umm guess what! Mike asked me out during last period" said Jessica one of my good friends.

"Oh wow, that's.. that's.. great! I'm so happy for you!" I said with fake elation

Wow. I didn't know Mike would move o so fast. We just broke up during lunch. Well at least he's happy, and he's moving on. Me there's no one to move on to. In the back of my head a little voice was saying maybe, Rose was right. I'd end up alone.

Jessica gushed on and on about how she had been crushing on Mike. Wait, woah I didn't even know this. I wish she would have said something sooner, I wouldn't have gone out with him.

She said goodbye and walked over to Mike where they hugged and smiled at each other.

I saw Angela and Lauren crossing the parking lot toward me; I smiled their one of the good friends I can count on.

"Hey guys what's up? Oh, do you guys want to come over this weekend and study for the History test?" I asked them

"Uhh, sorry I have a sate with Tyler this weekend, ohh there he is I gotta go, I'll talk to you later bye!" she ran off.

"Um I'm in; I really need a good grade on that test. I have a D in that class." Angela said.

"Cool Friday we'll have a sleepover full of studying and junk food!" I laughed.

Later on…

We were all sitting at the table eating dinner with Charlie.

"So we goin' over to Emmetts later?" I asked Rose trying to be friendly

'Um, no he said he wanted to spend time with Edward, to make him more comfortable."

"Oh okay, maybe next week then" I said a little bit disappointed.

We continued our dinner with silence as usual.

Afterschool on Friday…

I wonder what happened to Edward at lunch. He wasn't there, hope he didn't get lost or something. Hrm, weird he didn't even look at me today in Biology. I bet my bottom dollar that he doesn't like me. Or maybe he has weird bipolar mood swings.

I was looking for him when Angela came walking towards my rusty old red truck.

"Hey! You ready for a full packed studin' weekend!?" I screamed

"Yeahhh!" she screamed.

That night we crammed our butts off. And I think I woke up the next day with a junk food hang over.

I really want to past this test!

Monday…

I walked in homeroom with a new confidence; the History test was next period. I was sure I was going to pass it. I was positive I saw Lauren and went to sit next to her

"Good morning Lauren, and how are you?" I said to her. She was faced away from me. She turned around with an angry look on her face. "What's wrong?" I asked

"I can't believe you didn't invite me to your little party!" she said with an angry tone.

'I didn't have a part y Lauren, Me and Angela just studied the whole weekend, what are you talking about?" I asked

"I told you I couldn't go, yet you held that stupid study group anyway. You did that on purpose. Your jealous of me and Tyler."

"What are you talking about!" I almost screamed. She is acting crazy or something. Why in the world would I be jealous of her?

"Why would I be jealous of you and Tyler? IW as nothing but happy when you told me you and him were together?"

"Whatever Bella, you're such a liar. I can't speak to you anymore."

Oh my ___ gosh. Ugh, I have no idea what her problem is with me, but I won't think about it anymore. I have a test I have to take next period. This unbelievable. She is acting so childish, more than Rose. We've been friends since I got here sophomore year, and we've never had a fight like this. It made me sad that she didn't want to talk to me, but I was still angry at her for saying I'm jealous.

Lunch…

"Angela, Lauren is mad at me. I don't know why but she thinks we created the "study sleepover" purposely so she couldn't go. Which you and I know isn't true. Angela are you listening to me?"

Angela got up from the table and moved to a table where Lauren is sitting. I stood there stunned. I can't believe she just ignored me. I was so confused, the both of us have been friends since sophomore year. I guess one little mistake can ruin everything. There making out like its all my fault. I didn't do anything wrong. What is wrong with this world. I sat with Rose and Emmett. I was very quiet, they didn't know or care that I was there. I guess no one cares…

Biology…

I sat at the empty table waiting for the beginning of class to begin. Then end comes Edward, with his really cute eyes and nice face. Ugh, I'll never have a boyfriend. I decided to just burry myself in my work, that's how I'll get through the day.

"hello" Edward said

Without looking I gave him a short nod to the side as if saying "Hi".

The bell rang at we got to work. This class is so boring, I want to go home.

"What's wrong?" Edward seemed to ask. I have no idea why he's talking to me. I expected to be ignored today. Everyone else seemed to get the memo, what's wrong with him?

"Why do you care?" I asked him.

He grabbed my hand. His hand was so soft and warm, I looked up to see his light green eyes. HE always dazzled me. I might faint.

The look in his eyes said it all.

"Because I want you to be happy"

A/N: gah I know kinda of a feeler chapter, I promise I'll work harder!

Heyy review my stories, I don't bite… haha but Edward does


	4. Chapter 4

BPOV

Well weeks have pasted and I've spent a lot of time getting to know Edward. I know his likes dislikes, favorite food, and how he's allergic to apples. But for some reason he always dodges my questions about what happened before he moved here. I guess I have to give him more time.

I hope he learns to trust me more.

English

We just started reading Romeo and Juliet. We are at the very beginning where Romeo is whining to his friends about how he loves Rosalyn but she doesn't love him back. I sit right next to Mike, we've been on friendly terms in class but outside class we hardly talk at all. He's reading Romeo's part out loud after he finishes he looks at me "Oh, I know how Romeo feels."

He looks directly at me. Huh? Why is he acting like that?

First of all I thought it was a mutual brake-up. He seemed happy that we weren't going on because now he's with Jess. I don't understand. I'm a little bit upset but I won't let it bother me too much.

Finally Lunch

I'm sitting with Edward talking about the next history assignment when I see Lauren and Angela pass by our table. For some reason I can't help but look at my ex-best friends. Sometimes I miss them, sometimes I'm angry at them, sometimes I'm just confused as to why the whole situation happened.

Lauren and Angela look at me and smile, as if nothing is wrong between us. I don't get the. The situation is so stupid yet I can't seem to say sorry for something that wasn't my fault.

Edward looks at me, he knows I'm thinking about the situation. He squeezes my hand and says "Don't worry about them, its Friday we should go see a movie afterschool," with a cute smile and a dimple on his cheek.

I smile and say "Yeah, I heard Emmett talking about that new Star Trek movie, we should see it."

"Yeah, cool. I'll be right back." He says looking across the room; he gets up and walks to Lauren's table.

I see Lauren taken aback by whatever Edward is saying to her. Does he like her? What is he saying, ugh I can't hear them. Tyler stands up and says something, but I can't hear from where I'm sitting.

"Don't do anything stupid.."

EPOV

I'm walking towards Lauren's table.

"Lauren, stay far away from Bella." She looks at me like I'm on crack or something

"Excuse me, what are you talking about." She asks.

"She's not your friend anymore, so stop terrorizing her. Just leave her alone, she doesn't need you anymore. You're a horrible friend. And Angela…" she looked up at me terrified.

"You're a really bad friend; you just left her when she needed you. I thought that after all she's told me about you, you would have been there for her. But I guess you let Jessica manipulate you into thinking Bella was a bad friend. Wow, I didn't think you were that shallow, but some times I'm wrong." With that I walked away. I heard Angela's tears and her sobs, but I didn't feel sorry for what I said. It was all true. I didn't like the way they treated Bella. She has been kind to me ever since I got here, she deserves better friends. I hope I can be a better friend for her.

I go back to the table and sit next to Bella.

"What did you say to them?" she asked

"Nothing that didn't need to be said" I told her

"Well, whatever you said, thank you" she smiled

Across the table are Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie gives me a curious glance, then turns back to Emmett.

The bell rings, now its off to Biology, where I get to spend more time with Bella. Sometimes we talk about the most randomist things. Like what the plastic things at the end of shoe laces are called. And we can joke about Star Wars for hours. I've never met someone who likes Star Wars as much as me, except for Tanya…

'You don't get to say her name anymore' a voice inside my head said.

xxx

"_haha Edward, I love you. You know that right?"_ is what Tanya used to say…

I hope she's okay…

"Edward what are you thinking about…" Bella asked as we sat down n class

"You." I lied, she smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Tanya's POV

"Hey I think she's waking up…" a voice said

I opened my eyes but I couldn't see anything. It was all too blurry. Soon my eye sight came into focus. I saw y father sitting on my left and Demetri on my right. Where am I? I'm wearing some kind of scratchy shirt. I look down and see that I am wearing a hospital gown.

"Ugh, my face hurts. Why am I here? What happened to me?"

"You don't remember?" my Dad asks.

A tall man with black hair comes in with a clip board. He must be the doctor.

"How are you feeling Tanya?" he asks.

"Well, my face hurts" I try to lift my head, and that hurts too. "So does my head"

'Well that is to be expected, after what happened" he tells me

"What did happen?" I ask

Both Demetri and my father look at the doctor, they seem very unsure about something. Why won't anyone tell me what's going on…

'_I'm so sorry, I never meant for this to happen…'_ a velvet voice tells me, but no one in the room spoke…strange.

"Can I see that mirror over there?" I ask Demetri who's sitting by a table where the mirror is sitting.

He hesitates and looks at the doctor who nods. Demetri hands me the mirror. I take the mirror and hold it up to my face. Its me but with bruises, that are now going away. I feel the back of my head, surprisingly my hair is cut shoulder length, not like before when it was just past my shoulders. For some reason the back of my head feels hard, there's a bald spot.

"Why is there a metal plate in the back of my head?" I ask the doctor very seriously.

"Well in order to fix the brain damage we had to operate on your brain"

" Why, I don't understand. Dad? What happened to me"

"You don't remember. You were attack honey," he took a deep sigh and continued. "Someone broke in when I was at work, you were there all by yourself. You tried to stop him but…" he looked down at the floor defeated.

A single tear falls down my cheek.

'_Don't cry my angel' _the velvet voice said.

I looked at Demetri thinking he said it, but he was looking at the doctor.

'How long have I been in here?" I ask my Dad.

"6 months." He said sadly.

More tears fall. I feel so alone

'_I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens…'_ the same voice said

For some reason I feel like I've forgotten something, but I don't remember what it was." I said

"Maybe…that's best…" the doctor said


	6. Chapter 6

EPOV

'I hate this, you did this to me' a female voice said

'its al your fault. You killed me.' She said again

That's the third time I've heard that voice since I've been out of the facility. I could hear the sadness and anger in her voice. I thought if I left then everything would be better for her…

X Flashback x

"_Ummm, hi. Uh..Tanya..?" I said to her in the school hallway at her locker._

"_Hey Edward, what's up?" She said_

"_Well, I was wondering, you know since, we've been hanging out a lot. And you know I really…"_

_I couldn't help it I froze on the spot. I didn't know how to tell her. My best friend Demetri just said 'Go for it man" wow wise words of encouragement. I mean how do you tell the most prettiest, popular girl that you want to be the one for her. I mean 'the one and only soul mate'. I've had a crush on her since elementary. We've been friends since we were kids. I mean, wouldn't you be nervous too? Ugh, what if she rejects me? I can't blow this. How do I tell her how I feel without ruining our friendship…_

"_Uh huh…Edward what is it. C'mon just spit it out." She said._

"_Well, maybe if I did this you'll know…" I said as I got closer, and closer to her. Staring at her lips. I'm pretty sure she got the idea. I leaned in and kissed her. Hrmm. I've never kissed a girl before. Her lips were soft, and I tried to be as gentle as possible being inexperienced._

_I leaned out and opened my eyes to see her reaction. I was bracing myself for a slap in the face when she said "Finally…"_

"_Huh?" uhh, what does she mean by that?_

"_I've been waiting for you to do that since, middle school." She confessed._

"_Wait.. what?" I'm so confused right now. "wake up dumbass, she likes you!" a tiny voice said to me._

'_Edward, I understand your feelings toward me and I-" I interrupted her_

"_So, you like me back right?' I asked with a smirk_

_She smiled, 'Yes Edward!" She said in the cutest voice, and patted me on the head like I was a dog_

_I laughed and held her close to me and she hugged me around my waist and looked up at me._

"_I've always loved your eyes, they seem to dazzle me every time you look at me." She reached up on her toes and I bent down a little to meet her lips with a sweet kiss._

'_Uhh, Finally!" Demetri said from behind us._

_Me and Tanya looked at each other and busted out laughing_

"_That's what I said!" she said loudly._

"_Yeah, I dazzle her."I said with a smirk._

TPOV (_in the hospital, waking up from a dream_)

Green eyes. Where have I seen those green eyes? And I keep hearing this velvet voice in my head. Wow! I sound crazy, better no tell Dr. Gibson about that.

Maybe the voice belongs to the eyes. Maybe its some one I knew before the 'accident'. No one will tell me anything. Why isn't he here? Every time I hear his voice, it's always saying soothing things to keep me calm. His voice makes me feel safe. I don't know why, but every time I ask my Dad and Demetri about before the 'accident' they say the same thing. "it's all in the past, you shouldn't worry about it."

Weirdos.

One way or another, I will find out what happened before, and I'll do it all on my on.

EPOV

Afterschool when I got home

"Edward, did you take your pills?" Esme asked me,

I almost hesitated but, if I were to keep the ruse I had to hide it.

'Yes."

"Okay." She said with a weary look on her face.

I don't want her to worry about me but, If I were going to be with Bella some day I and to be myself. Not numb Edward. The facility really helped me, but I think I need to do this on my own.

X Flashback x

"_How long will you be staying?" the receptionist lady asked me._

"_As long, as it takes." I said in a sad voice._

"_Please sign this form, and I'll give you your room key. Would you like a single?"_

"_Yes." I prefer to suffer alone_

'_No amount of suffering will erase what you did' a voice said…_

_After the 'incident' with Tanya, I went to the police and turned myself in. People might say I did the right thing but I don't think I paid for my actions. Later on I found out that Tanya had been in a coma since…what happened. After that my Uncle took me to the Doctor, they did a series of tests which I didn't really understand. Then a week later I look up 'solutions for troubled teens' on the internet and that's when I found 'Volcano Institute'._

_I signed the forms and the and got my room key. After settling in I went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. And that's when I met the girl with the spiky hair. Who knew she'd change my life forever._

X end of flashback x

Dinner

Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett are a really nice. I like it here. I feel like I'm apart of a real family.

Back in Oakland, I lived with my Uncle Al since my parents died, it was different. Sometimes I miss it there. But then I look at what I've done, and think its better that I moved here.

"Hey Edward you wanna play video games later?" Emmett asked. He's like the brother I've always wanted, being that I was an only child

"Yea, sure!" I said

Across the table I saw Esme give Carlisle a smile, I guess she likes that I'm here too. Maybe some day we'll all be a happy family.

'You'll never be happy.' She said…


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

Okay so thing between Edward are going good. I can't say for sure that we're boyfriend and girlfriend, and yes I know that sounds really lame. I mean how can you not know right? Well he keeps giving me mixed signals. He holds my hand and is always there for me when I need him, but yet he refers to me as his 'Friend' or worst his 'best friend'.

I really think he's a great guy. But he hasn't really opened up to me. HE always keeps the subject on me. Every time I mention what it was like before he moved here he always changes the subject. Okay, I'll give him his space. I don't want to make things hard for him. I'll go with the flow, and take it slow. But hopefully he'll warm up to me soon.

To make things easier I wanted him to be comfortable here. So I invited him to a Bonfire hosted by my friend Jacob down at La Push beach. Hopefully he'll be comfortable enough to let me in. Maybe a nice relaxing atmosphere will help him relax.

EPOV

Bella invited me to a Bonfire here friend is hosting. I hope I'm not giving her the wrong impression. I really like her. I just don't want to take any chances. Getting too close might not be safe.

'_No one is safe around you.'_ That voice again…

Maybe its best we just stay friends…

I don't want to hurt her like I hurt_______.

We'll start off as friends, then…

X Flashback x

"_Friends first and we'll figure out the rest later," the spiky haired girl said as she dragged me to an empty room with chairs lined up in a circle._

"_Huh? Who are you, where are you taking me?" I asked her_

"_Oh, darn. I'm sorry. I always do this. They said Alice: Introduce yourself, don't scare the patients." She laughed. "Hi, I'm Alice. And I'll be your companion for your stay here" she smiled_

"_Hello, I'm Edward and where exactly am I -----"I was interrupted by her laughing." _

"_Edward! What a nice name, you know I had an Uncle named Edward. Well this is the room where we have group sessions. And our group sessions is about to start in 5 minutes."_

_If I had a dime for every time some one had an Uncle with the same name as me, I'd be rich._

_She started babbling on and on about the facility. And I wasn't listening I was too worried about the group sessions. I didn't know that I had to tell people about what happened. This is too much._

'_Coward!' she said…_

_She's right. I am afraid. But I can do this. Right?_

Xxx

We arrived at the Beach, and I could already see that they had already started the fire. I was bit nervous to meet Bella's friends. I mean I'm sure their nothing like Lauren and Angela (Cold Heartless People). Sensing my anxiousness Bella touched my arm and gave me a loving look.

"Hey don't worry, it'll be fun – I promise."

"_**I'll love you forever – I promise." She said before…**_

I turned away from her and looked at the ocean. When we reached the bonfire pit there were a lot of people there.

"Bella! Hey over here!" Some one with a deep voice yelled.

As we approached Bella yelled, "Hey Jake!" And hugged some guy that was my height. He was Native American, with shoulder length black hair. Over Bella's shoulder he gave me a peculiar look, sizing me up.

"Oh, this must be your new friend Edward! Hi I'm Jacob."

"Hey" I said nervously.

"Hey, where's Leah at?" Bella asked.

"Oh she's in the water, Leah! Come over here, Bella's here already."

I look towards the ocean which looked way too cold to be swimming in. A girl with a short black hair came walking out of the water. She smiled and waved at Bella. Then she gave me a curious look. Jacob handed her a towel and kissed her on the cheek.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet one of my good friends Leah; Jacob's girlfriend."

And immediately I relaxed. I thought I would be in competition with Jacob. I mean from what I heard about him (Bella's non-stop talking about how great the guy is) I thought Bella had a crush on him. But I could tell form Jacob's loving look to Leah was legit.

"Hey their making smores in the fire, if you guys are hungry?" Leah said to me and Bella.

"Yeah sure, and I wrapped a protective arm around Bella's shoulder. She looked like she was cold, and pleased at my close proximity to her. We sat down in a circle around bonfire, there Jacob introduced to his friends: Sam, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Leah's younger brother Seth. We all talked about guy stuff we were into. Bella inched a little close to me and smiled.

"Are you cold?" I asked her getting ready to take off my jacket for her

"A little." She said with a slight blush on her cheeks.

I gave her my jacket and wrapped my arms around her. Al of sudden the guys including Leah and Emily (Sam's fiancée) started interrogating me. Asking me all kinds questions like: What college I wanted to go to, what football team to I go for, what's my favorite color, when I moved here, why did I move here. I felt like I was in group again…

X Flashback x

"_Welcome Everyone, to Group Session 1. You all are our newcomers to Volcano Institute. Well except Alice of course. She's been here for a couple of months now. She's volunteered to be your peer mentor throughout your stay here. She'll help you if you need anything. Alice would you like to start of with your story?"_

"_Yes, Dr. Rose. Hi, I'm Alice,"_

"_Hello Alice." We all chimed._

Xxx

I laughed at all their questions.

"I haven't decided what college I want to go to yet, maybe some where in state. Uh, I like the Raiders football team, my favorite color is brown. I moved here a couple of months ago…" how can I dodge the last question. Crap!

"Um, I wanted a change of scenery. So I decided to move." I lied.

They all looked at me pleased with my answers.

"Where's just making sure your not a psycho." Leah said, I flinched at her choice of words.

'_Psycho? ha! That word doesn't even cut it. More like monster'_ I looked down sadly.

"Don't take it to heart Edward. We just want the right guy for Bella."

"Hey! I'm offended!" Bella shouted.

"We have the right! Look at the last guy you brought to our last Bonfire, what was his name Mitch or something?" Jacob said

"His name was Mike, and…" Bella said with a lost for words.

I looked down a Bella with an eyebrow raised, with a smirk.

"So, this is where Bella brings all the guys she likes." I said. I hope she likes me. Maybe being forward with my feelings will help.

She looked up at me blushing

'So, what if I do like you? What are you gonna do about it?" she asked boldly

I was taken aback for a second but played it off smoothly. Forget being friends

"Maybe, I'll do this." I said and leaned down to kiss her. She was surprised a little but took the hint that my feelings for her were real. She kissed me back, after a couple minutes we were broken up by coughs, "a hem's' and wolf-calls.

They seemed to have approved of me. The girls showed it with their smiles and dazzled looks. The guys with their scowls and two index fingers from there eyes to my face. I looked down at Bella and she smiled at me. The whole rest of the night we held hands and I kissed her goodnight on her front porch.

"_**You are soo cheesy with this 'goodnight kiss' stuff…"**_ she would say. I miss her.

TPOV (_still in the hospital_)

"I'll always be there for you." He said in my dreams. So where was he now? I'll find you where ever you are.

**A/N: okay so I hoped you guys liked this chapter. I worked really hard! && please if your confused about anything, send me a message are ask me questions in a review! Please review.**

**Yours Truly,**

**I Dazzle You, 3**


	8. Chapter 8

"_Hi, I'm Alice," she said._

"_Hi Alice," we all chimed_

"_Well, it's always best to start at the beginning. Well when I was fifteen my mother died, so it was just me and my Dad. My Dad took my mother's death the hardest. He started to drink a lot. Then that's when the abuse started. He would beat me everyday. I would shut myself off from the world because I didn't want anyone to know. I hid the bruises, the scars, and the broken ribs. No one noticed, no one cared; all I had was me, myself, and I. I stared cutting myself. I thought that if I were in control…no if I had it my way, I would be the only one to hurt me."_

_She took a deep breath. She seemed like this was hard for her to say, but she looked at us each in the yes with courage and confidence._

"_Then, I met Jasper." She said with a smile._

"_He helped me through it all. With his help I got emancipated from my father and then I signed up at this place. Jasper says I can't come back until I learn how to take care of myself. He says I can't keep hurting myself like this. So I made him and myself a promise: I will get myself back together, and stop hurting myself." She took a another needed deep breath and looked at us with confidence I didn't have._

"_Alice, would you like to volunteer someone to tell their story?" Dr. Rose asked her._

_Alice had a devious look on her face, and then laid her eyes on me. "Edward," she said._

Xxx

BPOV

Wow, after the bonfire me and Edward just hit it off instantly. Ever since he kissed me we've been hanging out more and more. Over the last couple of weeks we've gotten closer. We have so much in common; they like some of the same books, music, television shows ( I couldn't believe he liked 'Veronica Mars' and 'Ugly Betty' as much as I do). I was shocked when he said that Betty should be with Gio instead of Henry.

Every time I look into those bright green eyes of his, I don't know there's something behind them. I can always tell when he's happy-his eyes are a shade lighter. When he's sad or angry his eyes are clouded. And he does the cutest thing when he's nervous, he looks down sheepishly like he's embarrassed about something, and he even stutters. Like he's doing now…I wonder what he's so nervous about…?

"So uhh, Bella, I-I-I was ah wondering, um, wait, uh…" Edward stuttered nervously.

"Hold, Edward slow down," I said gently taking his hand.

"Okay, Rose said to do it like this…" he muttered to himself. I frowned at the mention of Rosalie's name, then became panicked.

"Edward, your not making any sense, what are you trying to say. And what's this about Rosalie?" I asked him

"Okay," he said and kneeled down on one knee.

"uh, Edward we're only in high school, there's no need to move this fas," I said confused on what he was doing.

"No Bella. Just let me get this out." He said more sure of himself. " Okay, well every since we've started going out or hanging out whatever you want to call it. I just feel more closer to you than anyone I've ever known. I really like you and I want you to be my girlfriend. I feel this connection to you. I thought it would be better if we stayed friends, but ever since I kissed you at the bonfire, I felt this spark. I knew my feelings for you were true. The kiss proved it for me. OS now I really want to be with you. When I'm away from you I feel this ace in my stomach. And when I'm around, truthfully half the time I'm nervous, I feel like a complete idiot." He told me truthfully.

"I don't know what it is about you but, I just feel it in my heart," he said while looking deeply in my eyes.

My heart soared. I can't believe this is happening. I never really had a real boyfriend before. I mean I went out with Mike for a couple of times but it didn't feel no where near how I felt when I was with Edward. Like nothing can touch me. I always had the time of my life when I was him. HE made me feel safe. And I know how that sounds when some girl is head over her heels for some cute guy, but I truly felt that way when I was around him. I was happy.

And I knew I could trust him with my heart. I knew he would never purposely hurt me. But something behind his friendly façade, there lie a big secret he kept from the world and me. Maybe, with time he'll let me in more. Every time I mentioned his past he always changed the subject like he was protecting me from something. Whatever he was hiding or avoiding, it made me want to protect him from whatever it was.

"Edward, I feel exactly the same way about you. I would love to be your girlfriend." I smiled

He got up and wrapped me in his arms, which is where I wanted to be. Then he leaned don and kissed me.

"Finally." I said

He sort of flinched, I don't if he was offended or something but he wrapped m tighter in his arms and said-"Thank you, Rosalie!" I looked up at him confused. Wha did Rosalie have to do with any of this?

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"Ohh, well Rosalie helped me. I was really nervous about asking you to be my girlfriend, so she gave me some advice."

I looked at him with my mouth open, shocked.

"Come again?" I said dumbfounded.

"She told me the best way to your heart, was to just be myself; and to trust that you like me for just who I am." I didn't really believe her at first but she said to trust my instincts and go for it.

Wow, I never knew Rosalie could be so kind. Usually she doesn't really talk about me in such a nice way. She usually comes off like she doesn't care about me. I think its time for me and her to have a little chat.

'Hrm, that was really nice of her, I'll be sure to thank her when I get home." I told Edward, but mostly muter to myself.

"Oh, I want to ask you something else too." He said excited

'Yes Edward! Of course I'll marry you!' I said in my mind. 'Now Bella, don't get too carried away; you've only been boyfriend and girlfriend for a hot 5 seconds'.

"Yes Edward," I said with curiosity in my voice, I wonder what else he can top with 'Be my girlfriend'.

"Would you like to go to prom with me?" he asked.

"Huh?" I said nervously. Dancing? Oh crap, I'm not that good at dancing. I don't want him to laugh at me.

"Why do you want to go to prom?" I asked, he looked me sadly as if I was turning down his offer.

'Why don't you want to go" he asked me.

"You can't answer a question with a question Edward" I said while entwining our fingers.

"Uh, Yeah I can!" he said with a playful look.

"uh, No you can't" I said mockingly and stuck out my tongue.

"Truth: cuz' I want to show my new girlfriend off at the prom. Take you on a real date where we get all dressed up, eat a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, slow dance to a romantic song; all that lovey-dovey stuff."

Aw, he is so cute.

"Well, Edward truth: I can't dance…"I murmured quietly.

"Well you always stand on my shoes and I could waltz you around, like this…" he picked me up and placed me on his feet, kept placed my right hand on his shoulder; while keeping our other hands entwined, he placed one of his other hand around my waist. And surprisingly I didn't feel uncomfortable or cared if anyone saw. I laughed and at looked up at his gorgeous eyes.

"Why Edward, I do say you are charming, yes I'll go to prom with you." What can I say, I couldn't resist his charm. He smiled with content, and kissed my softly on the lips.

"Hahaha, I win." He said.

Home (Dinner without Charlie, had to work the late shift at the station)

I came home to Rosalie in the kitchen cooking my favorite spaghetti. Weird.

"Hey, where's Emmett?" I asked her.

"Oh, he said he had something to do with his family. I thought I'd cook for a change. So… how it go with Edward?" she asked awkwardly.

"Uh, good." I looked at her suspiciously. I walked right up to her and put the back of my hand up to her forehead. She looked at me curiously and asked "Do I have fever?" she asked sarcastically.

"No," I replied-"But there something wrong with that's for sure, and I'm going to figure it out." I said as she followed me to the living room. "Your not the same Rosalie I grew up with. The shallow, sometimes conceited and cold hearted cousin I grew up with" with my statement she frowned and looked down.

"Is that what you think of me?" she asked, I had to tell her the truth. I'm not intimidated by her. She stared at me long and hard, and I stared right back at her.

"Yes, you've always acted like that, and always treated me like I was something standing the way of something you wanted; an obstacle you need to come. A bug, which needed to be, squashed quickly-not your own flesh and blood." I smoke with edge to my voice. For one I want her to hear me. Actually understand what I was saying.

She looked at me with sadden eyes as if knowing I was telling the truth. She looked remorseful.

"I'm s-sorry Bella." She said honestly.

"Why though? Just tell me." I said.

"I don't, it's hard to explain. I guess I was just bitter towards you. You had your parents. I didn't. Jealous of you, because you're parents are still alive. When you always fretted about your parents divorce, I grew more envious of you." She looked at me dead in the eye.

X flashback x

_I was going to knock on my dad's bedroom door when I heard his soft snore. I was going to ask him for help on my math homework (he taught me my time-tables). I was about to leave when I heard. "Renee, I'm sorry honey. Please don't leave, I can change, we'll move and find a better life. Please don't go." My father was sleep talking. I guess now I know where I get from. He was dreaming of my mother, they had been divorced for a couple of years. My mother had already moved on, but my father was still in love with her. This saddens her. She wished he father could move on and stop dwelling on the past. She didn't want him to end up alone. _

_She went back to her room and jumped on her bed ad started crying. She wished she could take away her father's sadness. She looked up as he heard the door open, "Hey Bella can I borrow your shampoo?" Rosalie asked. I looked up at her with red rimmed eyes. She saw my face and walked over and sat on my bed and asked, "What the matter Bella?"_

_Something inside me told me to confide in her, she didn't think she could go through it alone. She knew Rosalie being her cousin would care about Charlie's feelings._

"_Its' my Dad, He's still broken up about Renee, I never knew he felt this way. I just wish I could make his pain go away. If my parents were still together then he wouldn't be sad" I told her._

_She looked at me annoyed. "Don't be a baby, he can handle himself Bella! God, your so emotional." She said with a sneer and got up and walked way._

Xxx

Ohh, now I kinda understood where Rosalie was coming from.

"I get it; you think I'm an ungrateful, insensitive, spoiled brat." I laughed and looked down in realization.

"No, Bella that's not it. I just, I was being selfish; there was no way you could have known how I was feeling-" I raised my hand up for her to stop. I walked over to her and hugged her. She looked at me confused. It felt awkward but then she hugged me back. She started to cry and I hugged her tighter

"I never…wanted…you…to think that I-I…hated you or something, because…that's not t-true." She said between sobs. This is a little strange. I've never seen Rosalie cry before not even at her parents' funeral. She always kept up this strong wall, like she was protecting herself from the world. I don't think even Emmett could brake through her façade. After some more crying and murmurings of unneeded apologies we sat down ate the delicious spaghetti she prepared.

"I kinda cooked this dinner to apologize; I felt we needed to have a serious talk about us."

"Yeah, me too; I just didn't know how to put it out there without offending you. And I wanted to thank you for the advice you gave to Edward. That was really nice. Thanks for giving him that push."

"Your welcome; I needed to make up for what I said about the Mike situation. Even though I helped hook you guys up, it wasn't my place to pass judgment on your relationship. I shouldn't have said anything at all. I'm sorry." she said

"Rose, its okay; its all in the past now don't worry about it. Let's start off fresh, how about a new subject. So…are you going to prom with Emmett?" I asked, for some reason I got exited when I said prom.

"Yes, he asked me a couple of days ago." She said with a smile. Every time she talked about Emmett she glowed. "So did Edward ask you yet?"

"Yea, but I'm sort of nervous. I mean, a dress, heels?" I'm scarred of even thinking of falling on my face. "I don't even know what make up to put on, like what the heck is mascara?" I asked her.

She looked at me with a shocked face, but a hint of mischief in her eyes. "What?" I asked.

"Okay, since the dance is on a Sunday, weirdly. We'll spend all day tomorrow getting ready. We'll go to the spa to get facials, mani-pedi's, the salon for hair and make up, and the mall for the dress, heels, and accessories." She said with excitement.

I looked at her and smiled. Spending time with her would be great. I showed the excitement on my face. "Yeah, lets do it! I'm glad you're here to help, or else I wouldn't know what to do. Hrm, I was thinking jeans and a polo shirt" I laughed.

So already things were looking up. I was ready to be in a relationship with Edward. And finally me and Rose were becoming closer.


	9. Chapter 9

TPOV (getting released from the hospital)

Finally, I get to leave this dreadful place with its bad food. I still can't stop thinking about that voice. I guess its voice from some I've forgotten. I must have known that person well for it to have come back to me. I wonder if he's a boy that goes to my school. I'll ask around, I know won't be getting any answers from Demetri. Ever time I ask about what happened before the accident he always avoids the question or changes the subject. Darn him. I will find out now matter what, I feel like I owe it to myself. If I don't find apart of me will feel empty. I sat in a chair in the waiting room, waiting for my Dad to finish the discharge paperwork. I couldn't wait to get home and sleep in my own bed. Ugh, summer is nearing-usually that's not the response you get when you hear about summer vacation approaching. But ever since the accident I missed a lot of school so now I have to go to summer school. I wish they would just let me take it next year. Sorry its not like I planed to be in a coma for like half the school year. But at least I get to hang out with Demetri this summer. There's a happy thought.

"You ready to go hun?" my dad asked me.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." I stood up looking around. Apart of me will miss this place, since I've been here so long.

We walked to my dad's old blue truck in the hospital parking lot. I got in and my dad turned on the heater. Even though it was almost summer in Oakland, California its always breezy. My dad turned on the radio to my favorite station a song I knew was playing: 'Shadow' By Demi Lovato

_I glanced upon the ground today and noticed something, it followed me along the way. A figure of gray-impersonating every move I make. For now, we'll call it my shadow…_

For some reason this song reminded me of something. Or someone. But I couldn't place it.

…_and what happens on the day when the clouds appear, and fade my shade…oh well that's our Q babe; we'll runaway to place where…the sun always shines…_

There goes that nagging feeling again, like something is tugging my brain for me to remember something.

"_Tanya, you're my weakness babe, but you give me strength; not even time could erase what you do to me babe; I need you, I need you like the blood in my veins" _the velvet voice sang to me.

"Woah, there it is again," I whispered to myself too low for my father to hear.

My dad pulled into my driveway where I saw my beautiful blue mustang. Come to think of it, I don't really remember ever buying it.

The first thing I did when I got in the house was go up to my room and sleep. You'd think since I was in a coma that'd my body had enough sleep. But I felt so exhausted I just had to crash.

**Dream**

**It was a sunny day at the beach. No one was here. Strange. Suddenly someone (a guy) emerged from the water and started walking toward me. I couldn't really see him, its not that he was far away-he appeared fuzzy. Maybe I needed glasses. I could make out that he was tall and muscular. Bu his face was blurry. Then he spoke: **_**"Tanya, I'll love you always and forever."**_** He said in a familiar velvet voice.**

"**Who are you?" I asked, my voice came out in a whisper.**

"_**Open your eyes and you'll see."**_** He said.**

And then I woke up. I got sat up on my bed and thought long and hard about my dream. Making sure I remembered it correctly I replayed in my head several times. I was determined. I had to find who this guy was, and what did he have to do with me. This voice in my head had an affect on me, it made my heart throb every time I heard it. Its like I was missing an important part of my life, and my heart wanted it back. I wish I knew what it was so my heart could stop aching. Whoever this person was I must be in love with him. Maybe there might be things in my room that could lead me to him. Clues…I started to look through my backpack through all my textbooks for any sign of this missing part of my life. I dropped my Spanish book on the floor and bent down to pick it up and noticed something underneath my bed. It was a notebook. I remember keeping a diary but I wonder if it has entries of before. I flipped through it, but the last couple of pages are missing-strange.

I read the first entry titled: Sophomore Year

It's the 2nd month of sophomore year and he still hasn't noticed me. What am I invisible? Maybe if I hung out with him more then I'll get his attention. I think he likes me. But boys are always unpredictable. I was thinking of being bold and independent and just ask him out. But there's always the possibility of him rejecting me. Then I'll be humiliated. No I'll play it cool. Friends first; he'll warm up to me sooner or later. Yeah, I'll make him fall for me. That's the trick!

Ooo

Hmm I remember I had a crush on someone but I can't remember who. Ugh, this is so frustrating.

"_Don't worry love, Be happy."_ The voice said to me. Then instantly I relaxed.

"_You can do anything you set your mind too_" the voice said, which gave me all the confidence I needed to continue looking for my 'mystery guy'.


	10. Chapter 10

RPOV

Today is the day Bella and I will get ready for the Prom. After our talk yesterday I feel as though we've grown closer. I really got some things off my chest. I'm glad I opened up to her; maybe after this we'll be even closer. Its 9 am and I just got out of the shower; I walked down stairs to the kitchen to see Charlie sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and Bella cooking breakfast over the stove. I say, "Good morning," and sit down at the table with Charlie.

"Rose I'm so excited about today! I'm not that into shopping but, I think this will be fun!" Bella exclaimed after setting down two plates of bacon and eggs in front of Charlie and me. I'm so glad she's excited. I was a little worried about asking her in the first place because she never liked going shopping with me and Renee. I looked at Charlie who had a smile on his face. Hm I guess he's not the only one happy that me and Bella are finally spending time together.

After breakfast Bella and I head out to my Red BMW. I worked weekends and used some of my inheritance money to buy this car. We drove to Port Angeles and checked around their dress shops. I didn't find anything I liked. And Bella couldn't really decide. So I called Charlie and told him that me and Bella were taking a trip to Seattle. Since the dance is late on Sunday (weird only Forks High would have their dances on a Sunday) Bella and I will make the hour drive to Seattle and pamper our selves and spend the night in a hotel. We'll return early on Sunday.

We check ourselves into a spa and resort. Bella looks overwhelmed about the whole ordeal. "Oh my…Rose this is way too expensive. We could just sleep at a Motel 6. No problem, we don't need to spend this much money if we're only staying here for one day." She said while looking around starstruck.

"Bella, this our day. Don't worry about it. I'm paying so just sit back and relax." We walked to our room. It was a one room with two twin beds, mini fridge, laptop with internet, a balcony over looking the rest of the city, and a huge bathroom with a tub and a stand up shower. We decided to have a small lunch here and then we'll go to the mall in Seattle.

We went to all different shops looking for the right dresses, accessories, make up, shoes, etc.

"Hey Rose look at this store, its really big; do you think I'll find the perfect dress, I don't know what Edward likes," she said looking down sadly. Aw, Bella is worried.

We go into the store (its called Escape). It has all these different sections for clothes, accessories, make up, and shoes. This is the perfect store for us.

"Bella you go look around, and I'm sure whatever you choose Edward will have to like." I told her

I started to look around and I found a light pink strapless dress. It was kind of corset like but the straps in the back zig zag. The dress goes down to my ankles; below the waist of the dress it's a very sparkly pink. Now: shoes. I found the perfect open-toed shoes, they were silver with straps that go around the tendons. I went looking for Bella, I found her in the dress section of the store. She had picked out a sapphire blue dress with spaghetti straps and an empire waist that reaches down to her ankles. The dress was perfect for her it complemented her skin.

I pulled out my phone and texted Emmett; he was tux shopping with Edward today.

_Babe, ask Edward if he likes sapphire,-R_

A few minutes later and Emmett texted me back.

_He said whatever…,-E_

Ugh boys are no help.

_Don't forget the corsages,-R_

"Okay Bella, now that you have picked out your dress all we need is shoes for you, accessories, and make up." I told her

"Do we really have to have make up, cuz' I don't feel al that comfortable…" she stammered.

"Okay for you we'll go simple and natural." I told her she seemed pleased.

We found silver bracelets and necklaces, some cute sparkly earrings. Bella even picked out some elegant peep toe heels. I picked out some pins and clips for our hair.

Bella went to the food court to get us some dinner while I paid for everything.

When I got to the food court I was surprised to see Bella had paid for everything

"Bella I thought I was paying for dinner?" I asked her as I sat down.

"Nope, the least I could do is buy you dinner." She said while stuffing a few French fries into her mouth.

"Well that was nice of you. So…tell me about Edward." I said

Her face turned a shade of pink and she looked up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh. Wow, she must really like this guy.

"Oh I know that look, that's the same look I got when Emmett and I started going out." I said

" I really like him Rosalie, he's smart, funny, and sweet. And he's so cute when he's frustrated." She gushed. We ate our burgers and fries and she talked about her fears about relationships. Since this is her first official boyfriend she told me she doesn't want to screw anything up.

"Bella, just be yourself, he wants no one else but you" I told her.

That brightened up her face.

"We better go we don't want to be late for our facials" I told her

We made it back to the hotel on time and went to the spa. After all that shopping its time to relax at the spa. We got seaweed raps, facials including: cucumbers. Bella was little skeptical about the mani-pedi's. She asked me, "Why do I need a pedicure, we should focus on the make up; I'm hoping Edward will be looking into my eyes, not at my toes." What she said was true and I laughed at her for it.

"Okay we'll work extra hard on the eye make up." I told her.

After the spa we went back to our rooms.

"So, Rosalie, I know we haven't…well we don't know each other as well as..what im trying to say is-"Bella stammered.

"You have questions right?" I asked her

"yeah" she said

"Ask away. Look I think the best way for us to get to know each other again is to be completely honest with each other." I said

"Okay, so this is very forward, but…Did you and Emmett do it?"

"Woah.." is aid bewildered by her question.

"I'm sorry, that's way to personal, lets just drop it."

"No, I'll answer you. We didn't do "it" you know have sex" I said the last part in a whisper.

I smiled as she blushed at the topic.

"Look Bella, if your worried About Edward trying to get past home plate after prom, don't. I don't think he's that kind of guy. And if you want I'll get Emmett to talk to him, even though he's probably going to say something anyway." I told her.

"No, not prom. No. I meant if me and Edward. Well, if our relationship were to mature as well as you and Emmett's. I just wanted to be prepared if he ever wanted, if I ever wanted… I don't know. Its just that Edward is really good looking, and he could have any girl at school and he picked me. I just don't want that to turn out to be a bust or anything. I don't want to disappoint him. I'm still a little confused as to why he picked me." She said

"Bella, you're an amazing girl. Edward is lucky to have you, I really doubt that he would do anything to push you in any way. The way he looks at you and talks about I can see he truly cares. And he picked you for you. And when your relationship "matures" or whatever, and you feel that you guys are ready to do "it" then you can talk to me. Just slow down a little. You gotta walk before you run." I told her

She thought about what I said for a few moments. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. Her eyes were guarded like she was holding back her feelings. Oh god I hope she doesn't cry, this is suppose to be a happy day.

"Your right Rose, I shouldn't feel insecure about myself, Edward and I will just go with the flow."

After our litter chat we watched movies and ordered desert from room service.

Xxx

EPOV **(A/N: the following is rated M, only for mature viewers eyes only!!!!!)**

Me and Emmett are back home from getting our tuxes with our spiffy bow ties. I got the perfect corsages for Bella is blue; it'll match perfectly with her pale skin. It'll also complement her blush. Man she's even cuter when she blushes.

"Now Edward, we need to have "the talk"." Emmett said to me. We were sitting on the couch watching the football game.

"What do you mean?" I asked him

"listen, their will be no 1st, 2nd, 3rd base or home plate. If I here Bella crying about you doing a fuck and run, I'll twist your balls so tight you won't be able to walk for a year." Emmett exclaimed. I was little bit scared for my balls right now.

"listen Emmett, that wasn't what I was planning to do at all. I care about Bella and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her purposely." I told him honestly.

I could tell that he saw the sincerity in my eyes cause he let out a booming laugh that made Esme walk out of the kitchen to see if there was something wrong. He even gave be a back braking hug.

"Don't worry Edward, when Rosalie haves this talk with you then you'll be really scared." He told me.

"Look Edward, Bella is like my little sister, love her to death, brake anyone's legs of they messed with her. I just want the best guy for her, and you Edward you're alright." He told me I looked at him skeptically. He reminds me of someone…

X Flashback x

"_Edward, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Jasper" Alice said._

_It was Saturday, which means visitors day. I just got done having lunch with my Uncle when Alice sauntered up to me with a tall blonde guy. _

"_Hello," I said and shook his hand. He had an iron grip. He looked at me warily_

"_Hey I'm gonna go get a fruit cup or some jell-o do you guys want anything?"Alice asked us._

_We said no and she danced off to the cafeteria._

"_So, Edward…what are you in here for?" he asked me…I looked at him confusedly, not answering his question._

"_That's okay, it's your business anyway right" he said_

"_Alice talks about you a lot," he said quietly. I gave him a look that said 'get to the point'._

"_Look I don't know what you did, and I don't want to know what you did to get in here, and if I did know I would probably break your legs or worse…" he blabbed on and on…_

_I gave him another look_

"_Look, I can't be with Alice while she's here, and there are all sorts of people around and I don't know you, but she does…so I guess even though I don't want to I guess I have to trust you.."_

"_I understand; and don't worry so much about her, she can take care of herself," I told hi. "And to be honest, I'm a little afraid of her" I told him truthfully. He laughed really loud. It sounds so different from his voice. I can tell that he's usually quiet. _

"_You know what Edward, you're alright."_

Xxx Prom Night

BPOV

Me and Rose stayed up all night watching chick flicks. What kept us goin was all the desert and junk food we ordered from room service. I drove Rosalie's car back to Forks while Rose was picking out the make up she wanted me to wear tonight. We got home in just before Charlie left for work, we brought him breakfast; his favorite: blackberry pancakes.

We chilled for the afternoon, then 6:00 o'clock came around and it was time to get ready for Prom. The dance started at 8:30; according to Rose we needed as much time as we can get. We went through all the processes: hair & make up.

Rose decided to wear her hair curly, half up and half down. And me getting all insecure again, didn't know what I should do with my hair. What does Edward like? Stop it Bella! I'll just be myself, I'll wear it straight and leave it down. He says I should wear it down more.

It was &:30 and me and Rosalie were all dressed and ready. We were just waiting upstairs in my room, wondering when the boys were going to get to the house. I started nibbling on my freshly made manicure, awaiting anxiously for Emmett to blow the horn of his big black Hummer.

"Bella stop fidgeting, don't be so nervous. They'll get here when they get here okay."

I nodded and looked down at my toes, I hope Edward will pay more attention to me then my pedicure.

I heard the beep of Emmett's hummer and nearly jumped and tripped over my backpack that was on the floor. From the floor I heard Rosalie's laughter as she left the room. I went to the bathroom to check that I didn't mess up my make up. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a light shade of brown on my eyelids, with a touch of black eye-liner. My lips were what Rose called "all natural" meaning some clear lip shining lip gloss. Rose told me I didn't need any blush, I took care of that myself.

"Hey Bella are you come down here or what?" my dad yelled. I went to the stairs holding onto the banister to make sure I didn't fall in these killer heels…

EPOV

Emmett knocked on the door, and a tall man with a mustache and brown hair answered the door.

"Hey Charlie," Emmett said to Chief Swan; he walked into the house and sat on the couch like he lived there. "Hello Chief Swan," I said to him and went to follow Emmett, but he stopped me by moving in front of me. He held up a red rag in his left hand and started to wipe off a pistol in his right hand.

"What's your name kid?" he asked me.

"Edward," I told him confidently.

"You take care of my daughter, and you'll get to keep your kneecaps" he told me

"Yes sir." I told him. He stepped aside and invited me in to his house. He sat down at the kitchen table and cleaned his gun while keeping an eye on me. I rolled back on my heels, a little uncomfortable. I looked up anxiously waiting for Bella to walk down the stairs. I heard footsteps and I looked up thinking it was Bella. Instead my eyes saw Rosalie walk gracefully down the steps, with eyes only for Emmett. Emmett stood up and offered Rosalie his arm, then I heard him whisper 'Babe, you look so hot!" and she giggled.

Chief Swan yelled for Bella to come down. Then I heard dainty footsteps at the foot of the stairs, and the most beautiful creature walked down the stairs. Bella she looked amazing in her dress, she was wearing a blue like sapphire, which will match perfectly with the corsage I got her. Her hair was straight and left down; it framed around her heart shaped face. She walked carefully down the stairs and when she reached the landing she smiled at me. I was starstruck, she looked so beautiful, I couldn't move. Then a voice pulled me back to reality. I looked away from the angle's brown eyes to look at who was speaking. "Well boy, aren't you gonna put her corsage on," he told me.

I walked my way over to Bella and carefully slipped her corsage on her wrist. And she blushed a shade of red. "Bella you look beauti-i-iful" I stuttered, oh my god, I'm an idiot. Bella giggled and looked at me with bright brown eyes. "Well I see she didn't pick the sharpest tool out of the tool box," I heard Chief Swan mutter, and then a booming laugh from Emmett. Bella looked at them with scolding eyes, and they shut up real quick…

BPOV

After a few pictures and my Dad telling me "Bella, you look beautiful, just like your mom on our prom night," he had said with shining eyes. We were on our way out the door when I heard my dad say, "Hey Edward, Don't forget no funny business," he said sitting down and pointing to his knees. I looked at Edward confused, who just looked at my dad with fearful eyes and said, "Yes sir."

When we got to the prom everything was spectacular. The decorations were great; Lauren and Angela really did their best.

We all took our seats and ate dinner. Emmett and Rosalie were too engrossed in each other to pay attention to Edward and me.

"Bella, would do me the honor?" Edward had stood up and offered me his hand. I just stared at his hand. What the hell. I took it and said "I'm warning you now, I'm not very good,"

"I think I can fix that," he said and led me to the dance floor. A slow song had started to play.

"He held my right hand while my other when to his shoulder. His right hand went around my waist and he lifted me up so my toes were on his toes. We waltz around the rest of the night. I never wanted him to let go of my hand. We kept our eyes locked on each other the whole night. I betting people were jealous. We were interrupted when Rosalie tapped me on the shoulder. "Lets go, the Prom is over already."

I looked around and everyone was gone, and even the music had stopped. I laughed and Edward smiled.

The funny thing was that me and Edward didn't even talk, it's like we didn't have to. We could tell what we both were thinking through our eyes. It's all in the eyes.

**A/N: okay so hope u like that extra long chapter. It took me weeks to write. At first I didn't have the right inspiration to write this chapter. With finals and end of the year bonfires I was goin crazy! The being of the chapter is a lil awkward, I know-shame on me. But I think the ending went smoothly. Don't hurt my feelings w/ the reviews..haha but hope to have a more in depth TPOV and dn't worry Alice and Jasper are coming yay!**


	11. Chapter 11

TPOV

Summer is almost here. Usually I'd be happy about this, but since I been in a coma I missed a lot of school; so that means summer school. What's a little comforting is that Demetri will be taking the class I missed with me. Dad told me that Demetri was there at the hospital the whole time I was in a coma. I was a little surprised when my dad told me. Demetri has been there this past couple of weeks. It's been hard but he makes it easier. I haven't told him about my mystery man though. Until I find out more about him, I'm going to keep it to myself.

Currently I'm at the library (I told my dad I'd be shopping at the mall). I was doing research on amnesia. I know that's what I have; even though the doctor just says its short term memory loss – I know better. I just feel it in my heart that there's this big piece of me missing. I know it has something to do with my mystery man. He must have been my boyfriend. But where is he now? And why is it that Demetri and my Dad won't mention him or telling me anything about what happened before my accident. What if it wasn't an accident?

"Amnesia can result from blood loss from the brain, beatings to the head, repressed traumatic experiences, etc"- _An Essay on Amnesia by Dr. Carlisle Cullen_

I went to one of the library computers and searched the name "Dr. Carlisle Cullen". Results:

**Dr. Carlisle Cullen, currently residing Forks Washington on the Olympic Peninsula. **

**Profession: Surgeon; Specializes in Surgical treatments of amnesia. **

I took down his email address, I wanted to ask him some questions. I glanced at my watch, crap. I'm late for coffee with Demetri. I rushed out of the library; the new coffee place wasn't too far from here. I walked in and saw him at a table by a window. When I approached him his face lit up like a light bulb.

"Hey, how are you?" he stood up and hugged me. The hug felt warm and weird.

"I'm good, what about you?" I said

"Fine, do you wanna order your usual?" he asked me. I frowned, what does he mean?

"Huh? This is my first time coming here." I told him

He looked confused then realized something, "I'm sorry, we used to come here all the time since sophomore year. You me and…we discovered this place." He said

Something about what he said wasn't right, like he left something or someone out.

"Its okay Demetri, I just can't remember," I said while knocking on the metal plate in my head.

"What's my usual?" I asked him while running my hand through my now chin length hair.

"Don't worry about it, I'll surprise you." he put his hand on my cheek and stood up to get the drinks. His hand felt rough, and it didn't feel right on my cheek. I looked out the window, staring up at the gloomy clouds. When I walked in the door I felt this strange Déjà vu feeling. Demetri said that we used to come here all the time. But I was confused as to what "we" he was referring to. "we" as in me and him or "we" as in me, hi, and someone else. I think that someone else is my green-eyed mystery man.

Demetri came back with two mocha lattes. I decided that I was going to take a chance and ask him something.

"Hey Demetri, did we know anyone whit green eyes?" I ask him. He looked taken a back for a second but played it off smoothly.

"Uh, lets see there is Sheri Johnson, Kristen Stewart (A/N: she does have green eyes; I was skeptical on her being Bella w/ out brown eyes – but she played it off well), Ashley Thompson, Jena—" I interrupted him with an eye roll and an impatient look.

His pretty bright blue eyes were guarded; he looked down and stirred his latte like he didn't want to tell me.

"Why are you asking me this?" he said quietly.

"To tell you the truth, I've been having these strange dreams, and I keep seeing these green eyes." I told him.

"Your mother had green eyes." He told me. That I already knew. My mother died right after my birth. I have a picture of her with my dad when they were in high school. I think Demetri was just using that as a cover

"Well then can I ask you something else?" I said

"Sure, anything" he said with a smile.

"Did I have a boyfriend before the accident?" I asked him.

He looked down for a moment then said, "Yeah, me." He said as I was taking a sip of my latte, I nearly choked on it.

"Excuse me?"

EPOV

We were all hanging out at the house watching movies, while Esme was cooking a wonderful dinner. Me and Bella were wrapped up together on the couch, while Rosalie and Emmett were cuddling on the loveseat.

"This chick flick sucks—" I heard Emmett say then I heard say; then I head a smack as Rosalie slapped Emmett upside the head.

I was trying my best not to fall asleep on the movie when I felt Bella take my hand and whisper in my ear, "this movie sucks eggs", I laughed out loud. Bella nudged me in my side and Rosalie gave me a pointed look. I shut up real fast.

I heard the door bell ring and I got up to answer it. I opened the door to see a familiar blonde male in the background, I frowned when I felt some one give me a bear hug. I looked down to see Alice "the pixie (as I used to call her" jumping up and down.

"Edward!" she exclaimed.

"Alice, what are you doing here?"

TPOV

"Uh, Since when?" I stood up appalled.

"Umm…" Demetri said.

"No, I can't do this right now." I said and walked out of the coffee place.

I didn't remember ever liking Demetri in that way at all. Even thinking about us being together I felt weird about it. And us kiss---I threw up in a bush; I can't even think about that. Ugh, I don't believe that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He has got to be lying. But why would he lie to me; we've been friends since elementary.

As I neared my house I heard my dad talking on the Phone in the kitchen. I walked in silently; I didn't want to interrupt anything. I stopped when I heard, "Demetri, why on earth would you tell her that? Uh huh. Oh okay, I'll go along with it." He said into the fun.

No way, was my dad in on this? I picked up the phone in the living room; let's see what those two are up too.

"I'm sorry, I panicked. She started asking questions about boyfriends. Its better me than Edward." He said. I hung up the phone. Who's Edward?

I went up stairs and started looking further into my diary. I hid it under bed so my dad wouldn't find it. I was starting to get suspicious of everyone. I feel as if I can't trust anyone anymore.

I looked through the later pages of the diary and I found the name "Edward" written several times. But the last few pages of the diary are ripped out. So my green-eyes mystery man's name was Edward. The only problem was that I don't have a clue what he looks like.

All I know now, is that my boyfriend Edward (a chill went down my spine) is out there somewhere. I'm confused why he wasn't here to figure this whole thing out with me. Why were my Dan and Demetri trying to hide this from me?

He's out there some where, and I'm going to find him.


	12. Chapter 12

EPOV

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I asked her.

I could see Jasper shifting from side to side. He looked uncomfortable.

"Me, my aunt lives here; what are you doing here?" she told me. Huh?

"Who's your aunt," I looked at her skeptically. Maybe she needs to go back to Volcano.

"Esme Harrison; I heard she got married, and I've been tried to get in touch with her…you know my family situation, she's all I got left…"she looked down sadly. Jasper grabbed her hand reassuringly as if to tell her that he wasn't going anywhere. I stepped aside and welcomed them inside.

"I'll go get her…" I said and walked past the living room to the kitchen. I saw that Bella looked at Alice skeptically.

I walked into the kitchen and Esme was in the kitchen setting the table.

"uh, Esme I think your going to need two more place settings. There's some one here to see you," she looked at me confused.

I led her to the living room to where Alice and Jasper were waiting.

"…and who are you again," I heard Rosalie ask.

"Oh I'm Emmett's cousin," Alice said and looked at Rosalie un intimidated

"I still can't believe you're my lil pixie cousin," Emmett said.

"Alice! It's so good to see you, how have you been; oh my, your so gown up now." Esme exclaimed.

"Aunt Esme, it's been a long time." She said and stood up; so did Jasper. She took his hand and said, "Oh Esme this is my boyfriend Jasper." She said and smiled.

He said hello. Then Esme and Alice went into the kitchen to catch up. I guess the interrogation begins.

"So Jasper, where did you meet Alice?" Emmett asked a little protectively.

"We met in High school, I was a senior and she was a junior."Jasper replied a little uncomfortably.

"So what college do you go to," Rosalie asked.

"Well, this fall I'm enrolling at Seattle State." He told her.

"Wait, back up. Edward how do you know Alice?" Rosalie asked me, she looked at me suspiciously. I was at a lost for words, I didn't know how to explain it to them without telling them about what I did to ______.

"Well, I…um… its complicated. Well we met at—" I was interrupted by Alice.

"At the institute." She said. She gave me a disapproving look. "Um, Edward can I talked to you outside for a minute?"

"Uh, yeah sure." I knew I was in trouble. We went outside and sat on the porch. I stared down out my hands that were balled up into fists. I knew she was disappointed in me for not telling the others the truth about why I'm here.

"So, Edward, I had a little chat with Esme. And I'm guessing cousin Emmett and his friends don't know either."

"Me and Carlisle decided that it would be best that no one know about my past. Well I didn't want anyone to know those things about me. After I left the institute I wanted a clean slate, you know a fresh start." I said to her while looking into her eyes.

She looked away and frowned.

"That's understandable, but how are we suppose to explain to the rest of them how we know each other?" she asked me

"Well since you let slip that we met at the institute, I guess we could say that I volunteered to help the patients there." I told her with a devious look in my eyes.

She looked at me with unreadable eyes.

"Edward, is the brunette girl your girlfriend?" she asked me.

"Yea. Her name is Bella, you'd like her" I said with a smile.

"Are you planning on telling her about your---" I interrupted her.

"no, never. Why would I do that. I don't want her to know about that part of my past."

"Well, Edward she has a right to know," she said warily.

"If I do want her to know, then I'll do it when I'm ready. But I'm not now." I looked down again. I really didn't want Bella to know about what happened with _______. I didn't want her to know about that side of me. It's all in the past and that's where it should stay.

'_You won't be able to get rid of me that easily. Aw, Eddie wants to protect his wittle girlfriend from his big bad past. Get real, she'll find out what a monster you are.'_

I looked out into he driveway trying to clear my thoughts…

"Good news, me and Jasper are moving to Forks. Esme is the only relative who'll speak to me, and I want to hang on to that. I'm staying here with you guys. Jasper too, well just for the summer; he has an apartment in Seattle close to the campus." She said with a smile.

"Alice that's great. So are you going to enroll at Forks High?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'll be a senior with you in September." She said proudly.

"C'mon Edward, aren't you going to introduce your best friend to your girlfriend," she stood up and offered me her hand. I took it and we walked back into the house.

BPOV

There I was sitting on the couch all alone. Emmett and Rosalie were talking to Jasper about how their all going to the same college. I felt left out. Edward had left me to talk to Alice. Alice, who was she. The only thing I know is that she's Emmett's cousin. But how does she know Edward? She said she met him at an Institute, whatever that means. This may be completely childish, but I'm a little pissed that Edward didn't mention her at all. Then she shows up and their all hugs, what does he want me to think? If he doesn't come back in 5 minutes, I'ma make a break for it.

I got up and stretched my legs. Hmm maybe I'll help Esme with Dinner she's in there all by herself. I walked in the kitchen to see Esme at the table sobbing silently. I ran over to her and gave her a hug. I didn't know what else to so and say, so I said, "Esme are you alright? What's wrong?"

She looked up at me with a sad smile and said, "Oh Bella, I'm fine. She looked down at her hands and slowly rose up and walked to the cupboard to get glasses. "Is there anything I could you with," I asked her. She was facing away from me.

"No, everything is fine, you go back into the living room and I'll call when dinner's ready." She said it in a strained voice.

With one last worried glance at her, I turned away heading back into the living room. Then I heard a crash and turned around to see Esme picking up pieces of the glass that fell out of her hand. I went over to her and helped her pick it up. She started crying again. "Should I go get Emmett, or call Carlisle?" I asked her, a little frantically.

"No, no, just stay here with me," she said breathlessly. She sat down and leaned against the counter, I sat by her. She held my hand very tightly. I looked at with a worried expression. She noticed and said, "Oh, don't worry about me Bella; I just got some bad news from Alice."

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"Well, its not my business to tell, but she said she wanted to talk to everyone when Carlisle gets home after dinner." Looked down at her hands, they were bleeding.

"Oh no Esme your hands!" I stood up quickly to get a towel. I wet the towel and wrapped it around her hands. She held the towel, and looked up at me defeated.

"Don't worry I'll clean all this up, and I'll finish cooking dinner. Why don't you sit down at the table." I lifted her up and she sat at the table drying her tears.

I went to the stove and finished cooking, and cleaned the glass off the floor. Edward walked in with Alice in tow.

"Bella, there you are, I didn't get a chance too…" Edward was saying, but I wasn't paying attention to him as I was ladling out food on to the plates that were set on the table.

"Oh Edward, get some glasses out for everyone and set them on the table. Alice could you tell everyone that dinner is ready please." I practically demanded of them without looking at them.

Alice gave a weary look at Esme then retreated to the living room. She came back with everyone including Carlisle who just arrived. He immediately rushed over to Esme and took her in his arms. He got her some bandages for her hand and softly whispered in her ear.

"Carlisle I'm fine, let's just have a nice dinner with Alice." She said with a smile and looked at Alice who returned the gesture.

We sat down around the table. I sat between Edward and Rosalie who sat next to Emmett. Across from us was Alice and Jasper. Carlisle sat at the head of the table and Esme at the other end. We dug in to the nice dinner Esme prepared. Everyone was just finishing up when Esme looked over at Alice and said "Do you want to start now?"

APOV

Okay, this is going to be just like group session. I have to tell my story again. I've done it countless times in group, but I've only said it to complete strangers. In front of them its easier, but to my own flesh and blood. It's like putting them through what I went through. I don't want them to feel the pan I felt. I looked at my now empty plate and stalled for a little more time. Earlier, when I told Esme that my father was abusing me, she started crying after that I couldn't tell her the rest. In Group no one cried when I told my story. I don't want Aunt Esme to cry about what's already happened. I looked at everyone's faces, they all held confused expressions, I looked at Esme she had a brave look in her eye. I looked at Jasper, he reached out and held my hand tightly – giving me the strength I needed to tell the story.

"Well, sophomore year my Mom died. It was just me and my Dad, we promised to take care of each other. It was hard for a while, but I thought we were getting through it. My dad he started drinking a lot and at first I thought it was nothing. Then he started hitting me." I looked down at me and Jasper's entwined fingers. I gave him a tight squeeze. I looked across the table and Edward's girlfriend Bella, she was staring at me with unreadable eyes. I was getting the vibe that she didn't trust me.

"Dad left me bruises where no one could see. Everything at school went normal, I kept my grades up, did everything I was told. Everyday I felt numb; I couldn't feel anything, not even when my dad was hitting me. So I did something really stupid, and I regret it to this day. I started cutting myself, trying to make myself feel something. One day at school I bumped into someone on my way out of the bathroom from cutting myself." I looked from Bella's nonjudgmental eyes to Jasper's loving blue ones.

"Thankfully I bumped into Jasper; I fell flat on my butt. When he helped me up he saw the blood; I tried to run to class, but he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulders and marched to the nurse's office. I didn't go without a fight, I went kicking and screaming." I said laughing and looking at Jasper.

"After the nurse saw my cuts, she excused me from class and Jasper drove me to the hospital. I remember our conversation like it was yesterday…

X Flashback x

"_Okay, whatever your name is you can drop me of at the side of the road, I'll walk home." I looked at him as he drove closer to the hospital._

"_Why do you cut yourself, why hurt yourself?" he asked in a quiet voice._

_What the hell, I don't have to answer to him; it's none of his business. There is no way I was going to tell him why I did it. He wouldn't understand. No one understands._

_He pulled over to the side of the road. Good he's letting me go. I unbuckled my seat belt and reached for the door, when he locked the door. I looked at him skeptically. I was little scared._

"_What are you doing? If you don't let me go I'll scream or worse" I said getting ready to fight._

_He reached for my arm, I was paralyzed in fear I didn't know what to do. He pulled up the sleeve of my shirt to reveal a series of scars from past cuts. He gently rubbed his fingers over my scars. I got this tingly feeling when he touched me. I looked up at him and finally noticed…he wasn't half bad. He had short blond hair, blue eyes, sharp cheek bones, and nice lips…_

_His eyes reminded me of something, my mom. Her eyes were blue too…_

_Before I knew it I was crying. He hands went up to my face and wiped away my tears. I didn't really understand why he was doing this but I didn't stop him. I just sat there._

"_What's wrong?" he asked_

_I told him everything, I didn't why but I did. It felt like he wanted to know why I was upset, why I what I did. I felt like myself when I was around him, I couldn't describe it, but it felt right._

Xxx

"After we went to the hospital we visited Jasper's lawyer. We got some papers signed and after a few weeks I became an emancipated minor. Then I checked myself into the Volcano Institute, Jasper said I couldn't live with him until I learned how to take care of myself." I said while looking around the table at everyone. Mostly everyone had tears in their eyes, except for Bella. She had an admiring expression on her face. I saw Edward reach for her hand and she flinched away from him. Uh oh trouble in paradise…

**A/N: so there's Alice's official story! Yay! Uh oh…whats happening between Bella & Edward. Can she really trust him? Will he finally open up and tell her the truth???**


	13. Chapter 13

TPOV

This is all way to much. Demetri my boyfriend? Yeah right, I don't think so. He and my dad are lying to me. I don't know why but I know it has something to do with my mystery man Edward. I have to find him but first things first I want to ask Dr. Cullen some questions.

_Email to: Dr. Carlisle Cullen_

_Regarding: questions on Amnesia _

_Dear Dr. Cullen_

_I am a victim of amnesia and I had a few questions about when my memory will come back. If I were a victim of beatings to the head, or loss of blood to the brain is it likely that my memory will come back at all? And if so what would be the time range?_

_Sincerely, Katelyn Frost_

I decided to use my sisters and my mother's maiden name. I took my chances, I didn't want anyone to find out about this.

I went downstairs to find my dad cooking dinner.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" I asked him

"Oh hey honey, uh we're having a guest for dinner" he told me. Huh. I wonder who…

The door bell rang and I went to get it and found Demetri standing on our doorstep.

"Oh, You." I said and stepped aside to let him in.

He went into the house avoiding my eyes. Ugh, why is he here. I went into the kitchen to see my father give Demetri a knowing look. That's it I need the truth. We sat down to eat and all was quiet.

"We need to talk." I said.

"About what honey?" my dad asked with a smile.

"About my accident" I said

"Past is yesterday, lets enjoy today." Demetri said.

"No, it's affecting my future. And its time you guys starting telling me the truth" I said, my voice with an edge.

"We told you already, someone broke in and you tried to stop him, he hit you on the head and got away. You wake up from a coma, and now your fine. What's the problem?" my dad asked, with annoyance in his voice.

"What happened before the accident, because I feel like I missing an important part of my life, or an important person, but I don't know who." I said. I wouldn't mention Edward, I know if I did they would shut up like clams.

"Maybe you miss your mom, is that who you can't remember."Demetri said. I can't believe him. Ugh if he knew anything about me then he wouldn't mention my mom. I don't talk about her very much. I didn't remember her at all. How dare he bring her up? He's just side stepping the question.

"Are you serious?" I asked him with a scowl.

'Well it'd be normal for you to forget her, since the accident. She was important to you." He sad

"You don't know anything." I said

"I don't remember because never met her okay. All I have of her is a picture with her and dad. I didn't for get her I forgot someone else." I said my voice rising.

He looked down at his food embarrassed. He should be. He reached for my hand I flinched away.

"Stop, I know I'm not your girlfriend, so you don't have to pretend." I said looking into his eyes. They were sad, I think I hurt his feelings but I didn't let that get to me.

"What are you talking about? Before the accident we were together, I just…" he said defensively. He turned away from me and looked at my Dad.

My dad coughed and said, "Honey, we didn't tell you because we'd thought it'd be too much for you since your accident." He said convincingly. No I refused to believe that.

"Well your right, it is too much" I got up and cleared my plate and headed upstairs.

"Where are you going?" my dad called after me.

"To pack I need to get away, just for a little while. Summer school doesn't start until three weeks, so I'll be back before then." I said a little bit calmer.

I went upstairs and started packing some warm clothes. I'm going to visit my sister Kate; she goes to school in Alaska. Maybe some cold weather will do me good. I'll take the diary with me. Maybe she knows something about my mystery man Edward. I knew I could always trust her.

I went downstairs to tell my dad. Demetri was still there; I wish he would just leave, its so weird having him here.

"Dad, I'm going to visit Kate. Don't worry I'll be back before summer school starts, all I need is money for gas." I said ignoring Demetri's obvious stares.

"I could drive you." Demetri said.

"If you didn't get it already, we're broken up." I said with an edge to my voice

He chuckled, "I think I got it at the coffee shop." He said.

"Honey you don't need to do this."My dad said

"Yes I do. Look, I just need to get away for a while, a little vacation – to clear my head." I told the both of them. "Please just respect my space and let me go" I said with pleading eyes.

My dad took out his wallet and gave me 500 bucks.

"That's for gas and food. You call me when you leave the state and when you get there." He said.

"Look Demetri I don't know if you…whatever but we can still be friends right?" I ask him.

He stood up from the couch and gave me a hug that felt weird but war, "of course I'll always be there for you." He said.

I Looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

Next Day

I got into my beautiful blue mustang and drove. Driving from Oakland California up to Alaska is exhausting. But it's worth it I'll get to see my sister. I haven't seen her since Christmas. She has black mid shoulder length hair; she's quirky with attitude just like me. She looks like mom, 'cept she has Dad's hair.

I called he this morning telling her I'd be dropping in, she was excited. She's going to be doctor so she's working at an autopsy lab on campus. Hmm maybe I'll tour the campus; It is one of my choices for college. That and Berkley.

I hope she could help me with my memory problem; maybe she met Edward before he mysteriously disappeared from my life. Where are those beautiful green eyes of yours? I miss them in my dreams. I hope Dr. Cullen gets back to me soon. I really need to know when I'll get my memory back. Before I left I took my medical files and x-rays.

I called my dad to let him know that I was heading through Seattle, (A/N: aww so close to those green eyes…). I should be in Alaska in a day or two.

Alaska.

Man it is so freaking cold here. I've only been here once and it wasn't that cold. Note to self: buy a parka. The campus was some what small. My sister was at the lab some where on campus. I called her, I think I'm lost.

"Hey sis I'm here, where are you?" I said

"Oh, you know what just meet me at my apartment I'm half way there." She said.

"Okay on my way." I said

Her apartment was a couple of blocks away from the campus. I remember where it was 'cuz me and my dad helped her move into it. It was a quaint little pad; she decorated it with funky colored furniture. Yep that's my sister just as quirky as her taste in furniture.

Parked my car down the block, knocked on the door. It was yanked open and there stood my sister Kate. God I missed her. She screamed, I screamed we did this weird little dance and hugged and screamed some more.

"Oh my god I missed you, how are you since…" she said and rubbed the back of my head where the metal plate is.

I took her hand and squeezed tight," I'm fine, don't worry about me. I just want to sit back and relax before summer school," I said.

"Okay kiddo, when you said you were coming, I though you were running away from home." She said with concerned eyes.

"Kate, no Dad knows I'm here, everything's okay." I said.

I decided not to tell her about Edward and Dr. Cullen just yet. I didn't want to ruin anything. Just today were going to relax.

"So this is what we're going to do. It'll be like when we had sleepovers, junk food, chick flicks, horror films, prank calls, and truth or dare." She said with a devious glint in her eyes.

"Sounds fun!" I said.

I got settled in; I'd be sleeping on the couch. Yeah my sister was too cheap to buy an air mattress. Whatever, the couch was better than sleeping on the cold floor. I took a nap trying to gather some energy the trip to away.

**Dream**

**I was back at the coffee shop Demetri took me a couple of days ago…**

**I was sitting across from him when some grabbed my hand and gently rubbed it with their finger. I looked beside me and he was there. I couldn't really see his face, but I saw those green eyes, and a new feature: brownish bronze hair that was messy. In a sexy way…**

**His face was hazy but I knew he was my mystery man.**

"**Edward?" I said**

"_**Yea love, what is it?"**_** he asked**

"**Where are you?" I asked him**

"_**I'm right here"**_** he said and pointed to my heart.**

"**Stay away from her," Demetri said**

**I was confused, why was Demetri acting like that. Why did he want Edward to stay away?**

**I looked at Edward and he was fading away, disappearing again.**

"**No don't go." I said to the fading figure. I reached out to touch him but he was gone.**

"**Why did do that?" I asked Demetri. He just looked at me with sad eyes.**

"**Why did you make him go away?" I asked him**

"**You know why." He said**

Then I woke up breathing heavily in a cold sweat. I got up and went to the small kitchen to get a glass of water. Did Demetri have something to do with Edward's disappearance? If so why? What did Edward do for Demetri to want him gone? This is all giving me a headache. I just hope I get my memory back soon…

I heard the door unlock and Kate came in with Grocery bags and a tall guy behind her.

"Hey kiddo, you're up. There's someone I want you to meet," My sister said.

I stood up and looked behind her and saw the tall guy and brown hair and a bright smile.

"This is Dick (A/N: sorry I was watching Vmars season 3 and it just popped up in my head), my boyfriend." my sister said

Funny, my sister didn't mention she had a boyfriend in her emails. Maybe in the 6 months I was unconscious she got bitten by the lovebug, so much for our sleepover.

Dinner

"So I was like whoa, then he was like whoa, then I was like dude, then he was like dude,"

Then I was like: Kill me now, please! Ugh we were having dinner when Dick decided to get into this boring story that had no point, and no end! Why did I come here again? Oh yeah to get away from my dad and Demetri. Now all I want it to get away from is Dick. He's cute and all, but what does my sister see in him, he is doorknob!

"Look I'm tired, I'm just going to go to bed" I told them.

"Aw, like seriously? You won't know the end to my story then." Dick told me.

"Aw, bummer." I said and went in Kate's room.

Yeah I'll sleep in here, she'll sleep on the couch; punishment for making me listen to that meathead!

At least they won't be getting "jiggy wit it" while I'm here.

I collapsed on Kate's bed, not really sleepy. I snuck into the living room to get my diary. I need to know more about my mystery man Edward. I opened it up to where I left off. All that was there was that I was falling for this guy. So we had deep feelings for each other. But where was he now? I was a little pissed that he left me. I wondered if he ever tried to visit me while I was in my coma.

I looked around the room and saw Kate's laptop.

I went back to the kitchen to ask Kate if I could use her laptop. I stopped mid step to see Kate sucking face with the meathead boyfriend. Ew. I coughed very loudly to get their attention. They detached face. Aw the meathead blushes, how cute, not really.

"Um Kate, can use your laptop?" I asked her.

She gave me a disapproving look. "Yeah sure," she said

Whatever, "Carry on," I smiled and went back into her room.

I signed on my email account hoping Dr. Cullen got back to me.

"You've got mail" Yay! Hopefully he answered my questions.

_Dear Ms Frost,_

_Your memory should come back in time. Without a proper examination I won't be able to say when. But if you were to make an appointment and come to Washington I could examine your brain with a cat scan and see how the memory loss is._

_Sincerely, Dr. Carlisle Cullen_

I didn't write back just yet. Maybe I should talk to my Dad about this first. Even though my trust is wavering, I know he only wants what's best for me. But some things I just have to do on my own. Washington is on my way to California anyway. Since I'm passing through the state, my dad won't know anything.

The door to Kate's room opened. Kate walked in with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"So your head over heels huh." I told her

"Nah, it's a summer romance," she said

With an eyebrow raised I asked "Seriously Kate? You like this guy."

"Okay yeah kinda, but sometimes he's a total meathead." She said. She didn't know how much I agreed with her.

"So, where'd you meet him?" I asked

"My car broke down, and his father is the mechanic I went to, then I met Dick while he working on his mustang there"

"ooh a mustang, the meathead has good taste" I said

"ugh shut up!" she said and hit me on the arm. I got a surge of pain, something that felt very familiar. I couldn't place it but if felt so wrong.

"Tanie what's wrong?" my sister asked when she saw my expression.

"Hold on," I ran into the bathroom and pulled up my sleeve to reveal an ugly old bruise, it was going away slowly. How did I get this? I don't remember seeing it when I got in the show last night…

Kate came in behind me and saw the bruise, "Must have happened during the accident" she said.

I pulled up my shirt over my stomach and noticed some faint but there scars over my belly. I don't remember them ever being there. Kate saw too, she looked down at her shoes, and I swear I heard curse 'bastard' under her breath. But I don't think that was for the robber, but then who?

"Lets watch a movie," I said

She looked at me with guarded concerned eyes, "yeah a chick flick"

We popped in a movie and ate popcorn. I wasn't really paying attention my mind was on the dream I had today.

"So did you like Dick?" Kate whispered to me.

"For me, nahh!" I said while popping popcorn in my mouth.

"Duh, not for you" she whispered.

"Why are we whispering?" I said with a laugh

"Well do you like him?" she asked me again

"Yes, he absolute charming" I said with sarcasm. "Look if your happy, I'm happy" I told her.

She smiled and said "Dude thanks" and I laughed at her.

We watched some more movies, then both passed out on her bed.

Breakfast

Ugh, I woke up with a killer junk food hangover. Something in the kitchen smells good. I walked toward the smell to find Kate over the stove. She always cooked for me and Dad at home.

"Hey sleepy head" she said.

"You know when I smell bacon I come a runin. "I told her

She laughed and asked "Do you want pancakes too"

I gave her a duh face and she stared at me, with those concerned eyes again.

"Well get to cookin' good lookin', I'm getting hungry!" I told her. I really wish she wouldn't worry about me so much.

She made the pancakes and sat down and ate. I decided this is when I'll strike.

"Where do you think Edward went after my accident." I asked her. The fork was on its way to her mouth when she stopped.

"Who," she asked looking down at her half eaten pancakes.

I couldn't believe this, I know she's lying. Her getting all red and her mouth starts to twitch like its doing now.

"Don't lie to me Kate, I didn't come all this way to be lied to again, so tell me the truth do you know where Edward is?" I asked her.

"No, I don't know where he is, and where he is I hope he stays there." She said. She got up and cleared her plate. She was leaning over the sink shaking her head.

"So that's why you came here, not to spend time with me but to find out about Edward?" she said, her voice a little higher than before.

"No Kate, that's not why, I wanted to spend time with you, and I knew you were my only ally. You're the one who always tells me the truth no matter if it hurts or not." I said.

"You don't remember much about Edward do you?" she asked me.

"No, I don't. Why did he leave after the accident?" I asked her.

"Its good you don't remember, you're better off. Look I'm late for work I have to go, I'll see later." She said and picked up her purse and walked out of the door.

I stood there. Now what do I do?

Dinner

I was cooking a big dinner of pasta; I wanted to make it up to Kate. I didn't want her to be mad at me. I was little pissed she didn't tell me the truth. I knew that was that and I wouldn't get anything else out of her.

I was adding in the sauce when I heard the door unlock and Kate came in surprisingly without Dick.

"Hey," she said. She had ice cream in her hand. Aw she's sorry too. We used that as our white flag.

"Aw Kate," I said and walked over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of Starbucks ice cream ( I went to the store to get it just for her).

She looked at the carton and laughed.

We ate dinner and we talked about normal stuff. We avoided the subject of my accident. We'll just leave that alone for now. She asked about how dad was and what classes I had to take for summer school. After dinner we watched some horror films and ate our ice cream.

I stayed for a couple more days. Dick came over dinner, and I was actually starting to like him. What can I say he grew on me. He's like the big brother I never had. We talked about cars, he thought it was really cool that I was into cars, Kate on the other hand thought we were both weird.

"A car is a car, you put gas in it and you go" she said.

Me and Dick looked at her like she was crazy.

"Babe, a car is much more than that" Dick said to Kate.

"Yeah, cars a pretty complicated," I told her.

"Whatever," she said and took a sip of her soda.

It was time for me to give them their alone time so I retreated to Kate's room to use her laptop. I perused the web, and then I check my email. Nothing ne win my inbox. I wrote a quick email to Dr. Cullen accepting his offer to come down to Washington. I'll leave in the morning…

I fell asleep in Kate's bed, drifting into a dream…

**Dream**

"**I miss you," Edward said to me in my dream**

"**I miss you too, but where are you?" I said to him**

"**I'm right here," he said.**

**And this time I could see his face perfectly. His sharp cheek bones, nice nose, a cute face that matched his eyes perfectly.**

"**I love you," he said.**

"**I love you too," I told him**

**He leaned in to kiss me**

Then I woke up.

"Damn!" I said.

I looked over the clock and it was 5:30. Good I needed to get up so I'd have an early start on the road. I went grabbed some breakfast and woke Kate up to say goodbye. She cried a little. I told I'd be back before she knew it and to tell Dick I said bye.

Washington

I checked into a hotel in Seattle, which was only an hour away from Forks. I called my Dad and told him where I was and told I'd be shopping for a few days. Then I called Dr. Cullen and he said to meet him at his house during the afternoon tomorrow.

I crashed on the nice soft hotel bed for a few hours; I was exhausted from the trip. I drove all day and only stopped for only food, and when I needed to fill the car up with gas.

The next day I drove all the way to the address Dr. Cullen gave me. Wow he had a huge house. I parked in the drive way. I went up to the door and rang the bell.

I heard foot steps and the door opened.

I was shocked to see a familiar tall boy, I felt as if I knew him my whole live

Then it hit me like a big yellow school bus, it was Edward.

"Edward! I finally found you!" I yelled and ran and threw my arms a round him.

He looked down at me shocked. I stood on my toes and kissed him. He kissed me back

Now I felt safe.

**A/N: or so she thinks? Uh oh! She found Edward…now what?**


	14. Chapter 14

BPOV

As Edward reached for my hand I flinched away from him. I looked across the table at Alice and Jasper; after hearing her story she gazed lovingly at Jasper. Alice and Jasper's story ended with Alice trusting him with everything she kept from the world. I want to be like that with Edward but the fact that he didn't tell me about Alice and nothing about his past makes me think that he doesn't trust me. And if he can't trust me how can I trust him with my heart? I've never worried about something like this before, I guess it's a new insecurity to add to the long list. I'm not exactly angry at Edward for doing what he did, but I'm a little disappointed in him for not trusting me. How can I be his girlfriend if he doesn't trust me?

After dinner me and Rosalie road home silently; I could sense that she knew something was wrong and that I didn't want to talk about it. I appreciated her respecting my space; for now I just need to cool off and gather my thoughts. I guess I have to evaluate my relationship with Edward. I tried to talk to him after dinner but he said, "It would be rude to slip away while Alice is a guest in the house, she just got here lets be respectful." Respectful, was he kidding? He didn't respect me when he left to talk to her outside. Whatever, I really don't want to worry about it so much. He's just a boy. And boys are stupid.

We go home and I went straight to my room, took a shower and crashed on my bed. I set my clock 9:30. I made plans with Alice to show her the town.

I woke up and went downstairs and sat down for breakfast. Charlie looked up from the newspaper and said, "Good Morning Bella. Rough night?" he asked.

"Yup," I simply said.

We ate breakfast silently, Rose must be sleeping in. Dad left for work and I went up stairs to get dressed. I came downstairs just as the doorbell was ringing. I went to answer the door expecting Alice, but found Edward with her.

"Hey," he said while leaning forward to kiss my cheek. I side stepped him and said, "come on in" while looking down.

"hey Bella," Alice greeted me.

"Hey," I said with a warm smile.

"Um, Bella could I use your bathroom?" Alice asked. I directed her up the staircase down the hall.

"So, I was thinking we could go to dinner on Friday," Edward said from behind me.

"Sorry, I'll be busy, I have to study for a test." I said.

"Oh, the biology one, I'd forgotten – so you want me to come over?" he asked with a small smile.

'I don't know," I said. Then Alice came into the room.

"We better get going. Thanks for dropping her off." I said to Edward.

I led Alice out of the house and over to my truck. We got in and I drove off as quickly as possible.

"So Alice do you like to read, I know this great book store down---" she interrupted me.

"Look Bella if you want you could drop me off somewhere, I know you only volunteered to be nice," she said

I pulled over at the side of the road and looked at her. Is that how I came off?

"No," I said. "That's not why I asked you. I actually wanted to do this. Is that what you think of me, because that's not the impression I was trying to give off. I just wanted you to welcome you to the town." I defended myself. I leaned my head down my head on the steering wheel. I started to cry.

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you I just wanted to be honest with, unlike Edward" she said the last part under her breath but I heard her.

I looked at her with my head still on the wheel, "What did you say?"

"Nothing" she tried to play it off my looking away.

"What do you mean Edward's not being honest with me?" I asked her in a more firm voice.

"Look it's not my business to tell; when he's ready he'll let you know. Look Bella, Edward is my best friend and I care about him, just don't push him okay. Only bad things will come of it."

I frowned. I should give him his space. She was right but I still didn't understand, "Why didn't he ever mention you?" I asked.

She looked a little hurt by my question; it didn't faze me because we were being honest.

"Bella, I'm apart of the past that Edward isn't proud of." She said with cloudy eyes.

"What does that mean?" I said confused.

"You have to talk to him about that." She said

I looked away and out of the windshield. What was Edward not telling me? I wish he would just let go and trust me. It's not like I would tell anyone. I don't have any friends these days.

"Okay," I simply said, "I guess I just have to wait till he's ready." I said not really wanting believe what I said.

"Look how about we start over, Hi, I'm Alice." She said reaching out to shake my hand.

I shook her hand and said, "It's nice to meet you Alice, I'm Bella."

"Hey Bella do you know any dance clubs to go to," she said with a sparks in her eyes.

"Yeah, actually I do. How about a girls night out? Me, you, Rose another on of my friends?" I asked her with an idea.

"Yeah, except I have no clothes for the occasion…" she said with a sad look.

"Well, I guess we could go shopping…" I said looking down.

"Rose could take you shopping and I'll meet up with you guys later, don't worry it'll be fun."I said.

So I drove to the Cullen's house; Rose was there hanging out with Emmett. We went inside and saw Emmett and Rose making out on the couch. Gross.

"Uh hate to interrupt but um, Rose?" I said tapping her on the shoulder.

"What?" she said irritated. There's my cousin.

"Do you want to have a girls night out with me and Alice?" I asked her.

"Yeah, that'd be fun; I haven't been out dancing since prom." She said.

"Babe, prom was a couple of days ago." Emmett said.

"I know that dipswitch!" Rosalie said.

"Well I want to go." Emmett said to her.

"No, it's a girls night out you can't come," Alice said.

He stood up and walked into the kitchen with a pout on his face.

"Baby!" I called after him laughing.

"Okay well I'm in whenever you guys want to go." Rose said

"Good okay um, go shopping with Alice and meet be back at the house, I'm going to go see if Leah wants to come." I said

"Cool, c'mon Alice let's go find some kickass outfits." Rose said. They made their way out to her BMW.

EPOV

I was sitting in my room, wallowing in self pity. I know I've been acting like an ass since Alice got here. But I just don't know how to apologize to Bella without telling her the whole truth. She's been pushing me away because I put her under the impression that I don't trust her. This isn't true at all. I do trust her. I just don't want to hurt her like I hurt _____. I'm trying to protect her.

'_Protect her from the monster that you are.' The cold voice said._

I actually agreed with the voice. I felt like a monster. After I did that to _____, I couldn't escape what I became. No amount of pills or group sessions will erase what I did. If Bella knew, she wouldn't look at me the same. She wouldn't want me anymore. I'm being so selfish by not telling her the truth.

'_You know she's not safe with you. The day you stopped taking your pills, is the day you put her in danger.' She said._

I know what I have to do.

BPOV

I almost always get lost every time I go to La Push; usually Jacob or Leah has to walk me through. I lived here most of my life and I still don't know my way around completely. I called Leah so she could direct me to her house.

"Hello," Leah's brother Seth answers.

"Hey Seth, its Bella which road do I take to get to your house again?" I ask

"Haha, always getting lost. You take Willow to get to our house." Oh willow, right. I should write it down.

"Thanks Seth tell your sister I'll be there in a minute." I told him

"Okay." We hung up and I took Willow road down to their house.

There house was a two story three bedroom house. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Sue Clearwater, Leah and Seth's mother.

"Bella, what brings you down to La Push," she said and let me into the house.

"Oh nothing, I'm just going to kidnap your daughter for a girls night out on the town," I said and made my way up the stairs to Leah's room.

"Have fun," she called after me.

I passed Seth up in the hallway he stopped me before I knocked on Leah's door.

"Hey Bella, Leah and Jacob had a fight so, you're her friend I thought you should know. Try to cheer her up she's been in there for the last couple of days." He said sadly.

I nodded and went into Leah's room. I heard her sniffling; she was lying on her bed with a quart of ice cream watching some sappy daytime soap opera. Jeez what did he do to her.

"Leah? What's wrong?" I asked her

She looked up at me with red rimmed eyes and then started crying all over again. I went over to her and gave her tight hug. She hugged be back and kept crying. After a while she stopped and told me what was wrong.

"You know how Emily and Sam are getting married right," I nodded, she continued.

"Well they finally set a day fro some time in December; and now Emily wants me to be her Bride's maid and Jacob is Sam's best man." She said with a smile.

"I was talking to Jacob about how excited I was to be in a wedding. I guessed about helping with the food, decorations and the reception party, and he jus t blew up in my face." She said sadly.

"He acted tense. He said 'who cares about weddings anyway, their stupid. Its just a way for a women to trap a man into become her slave' and I was shocked about how he felt. I thought he was being childish and that with time he wouldn't feel like that anymore, so I left it alone. Then I went with him to get his tux and I said something that freaked him out. I said 'Wow, you'll look just as handsome on our wedding day." She said angrily

I urged her to continue.

"He blew up at me again and said ' I don't want to marry you, ever,' I thought he was playing around like always, until I saw the serious look on his face. I guess he felt that I was trying to pressure him I not marrying me or something. I would never do that. What I said before was just a thought I don't know if I meant it or not it was just a thought. After that he just got in his car and left me there." She said with a voice filled with hurt.

She had stopped crying now and just ate more of the vanilla ice cream she had in her lap.

"Leah, look you can't do anything about that now. Just give him some space and let him cool off. Just don't worry so much," I said, when really I should be taking my own advice.

"I don't know Bella; I think I really screwed up. He probably hates me." She said.

"No sweetie of course he doesn't hate you, he's just a little freaked out right now." I said.

She looked down at the ice cream and sniffled some more.

"Look I know the perfect way you can let this go, take things off your mind. Come have girls nigh tout with me." I told her

She looked up at me and said, "I don't know Bella, what if he calls and I'm not here."

"Then too bad, he should've called sooner. And if he does call then you'll know he wants to talk to you. He'll just have to wait till tomorrow." I told her

She looked down still unsure.

"Look we'll go out, have some fun and relax; just us girls, no guys." I told her.

HOME

Me and Leah went up stairs to my room to find Alice and Rosalie laying out clothes on my bed.

I'm so glad Leah agreed to go out with us, we were all going to let go and have some fun. I think we all needed it today.

"Hey Alice, this is my friend Leah." I told Alice. When she looked at Leah she had a frown on her face; she went over to her and hugged her.

"It's nice to meet you Leah, and don't worry he'll call." Alice said.

"How did you know," I heard Leah say from Alice's shoulder.

"It's okay honey. We're going to have fun tonight." She said.

Rosalie gave me a look like 'what's going on?' and I gave her a look, 'don't worry about it.'

Rosalie was like Leah's best friend and I know if she knew what Jacob did, she would go crazy. I think its better not to say anything.

Leah borrowed a cute outfit from Rosalie. She wore a black mini skirt and a cute purple blouse. Rose wore a red tank top and some black skinny jeans. Alice bought herself a cute black strapless dress above the knee. I went to my closet to get a shirt and some jeans.

"No Bella we bought you're your outfit." Alice told me. And I saw Rosalie jumping up and down.

"Huh? You spent money on me? You didn't have to do that." I protested.

"No Bella it's not problem, it's the least I could do since you know…" Alice said looking down a little embarrassed.

"Don't worry Bella your going to like what Alice picked out," Rosalie said.

They threw the outfit at me and pushed me into the bathroom. I looked at the out it was a midnight mini dressed that could be worn as a shirt and a pair of grey skinny jeans. I'll wear my black flats with these. I out on a little make up and went back to my room.

"Damn Bella you look hot!" Leah said with a new mood.

I laughed.

"Yeah, Edward would have a heart attack if he saw you," Alice said. I blushed.

We went out to a teenage club we know in Port Angeles in Rose's Red BMW.

We got in and grabbed some drinks and a table. We sat down and started talking about random things. Then a song came on and all went to the dance floor.

'_In a black dress, with the tights underneath, I've got the last breath of a cigarette on my teeth.' _

"OMG! I love this song!" Leah screamed.

We all started dancing to the beat shaking our bodies to the music.

'_And she's a actress, but she ain't got no meat; she's got money from her parents and a trust fund back east.'_

We were all letting go and getting loose. I'm so glad I thought of this, all of us really needed to get out and have some fun.

I was focusing on not falling when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and met a pair of light blue eyes. There was a tall guy around my age maybe a little older, he had dark hair and a cute smile.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked me.

"Oh, no I'm fine," I said

"Yes you are, c'mon just one dance," he said and held out his hand.

I rolled my eyes and said "Fine," only if it'll get him to leave me alone.

I looked over at my friends. Alice looked a little weary but said, "Go a head, we'll be over here," she pointed to our table.

We started dancing and the guy put his hands on my hips. I moved his hands so they were on my back.

"I don't you so let's not get too personal." I said. He must have done like that because he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear in time with the song.

"Shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." He said as the song was booming.

I tried to move away from him to give our bodies some space. He pulled me even closer.

"I said shush girl shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." He said again

This time I backed away and started walking towards our table. He grabbed my arm.

"I'm warning you, let go of me" I said calmly and loud enough so he could hear me over the music.

He started pulling me closer to him again. But instead I shoved the heel of my other hand into his nose. He let go and backed off to the other side of the room. I went back to our table to see Alice's mouth open.

I closed her jaw and said, "Careful Alice, you'll catch flies."

She laughed, "Whoa Bella, where did you learn how to do that?" she asked me.

"Oh, Emmett taught me some defense mechanisms." I told her.

"Awesome." She said.

We danced some more then we all got tired.

When we got out side of the club I saw Jacob and his red Rabbit car in the parking lot waiting for Leah.

"Hey Leah, look who's here" Rose said to her.

Leah looked at Jacob with sad hurtful eyes. Jacob looked at her pleading ones.

"I guess this is way of apologizing." She said.

"Wait Rose come with me, I don't want to be alone with him right now." Leah said.

"Sure, Bella can you drive my car back?" She asked.

"Yeah sure." I said

I drove Alice all the way back to the Cullen house. I went inside with her.

I need to make this right.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I ain't got the rights to nothing!**

**A/N: The following is rated M for mature readers.**

**Okay I got a review or threat saying that if the story ended up a "Tanya-Edward thing" then my story would be dropped. Well to tell you the truth its not a "Tanya and Edward thing". I haven't decided which character is going to end up with which. But its not like I'm gonna tell you how the plot comes out, that's like reading the back of a really good book. So just sit back and enjoy. The story is in multiple POVs 'cuz there is a lot of emotions going on. Hope you like it please review. **

EPOV

"Hey stranger," I was sitting on my bed listening to music when I heard someone enter the room. I turned around to see the most beautiful sight. I saw Bella dressed in a midnight blue that complemented her skin. She was so beautiful. No Edward you have to focus.

"I have to talk you," I told her.

BPOV

I sat down beside him on his bed. Hopefully he was going to tell me truth. He took my hands in his. This time I didn't flinch away.

"Good, I think we really need to talk about some things." I said.

"Let me start, I need to get this out," he said a little rushed.

I looked into those beautiful dazzling eyes of his and urged him to continue.

"Look Bella, I think it's best that we don't see each other anymore. I mean, things aren't really working out. I just feel that I need to focus on better things, I'm tired of wasting my time on something that's not working out." He said.

What? Huh? Wait, is he breaking up with me?

I took my hands out of his and asked, "Edward, what are you saying?"

He stood up and turned around to look at me, "Duh Bella! I don't want to be with you? Are you dumb?" he almost yelled.

I didn't understand. I looked down at my hands; what did I do wrong?

"Why?" I asked.

He started laughing at me. "It's not you, it's me," he said and continued laughing.

I got up and left the room, I needed to get out of there. I couldn't stay there and let him mock me anymore. I was confused but at the same time he was right. I was dumb enough to think that I could stay in a relationship with someone as godly as him.

I rushed home all the lights were off everyone was a sleep. Good they won't be able to hear me cry myself to sleep. I'm glad he didn't see me cry it would be a weakness.

I sat down on my bed staring at my hands wanting to wake up from this nightmare. All of a sudden this rush of emotion hit me like a big yellow school bus. I was so sad and hurt. Why didn't he want me? Why didn't anyone want me? He's just like Lauren and Angela. I don't understand.

I don't talk to him for a day and he breaks up with me, talk about throwing a tantrum.

I was full on crying now, sobbing like crazy. I didn't know how to stop. I hope Edward would be the guy who'd make me whole. God that sounds so cliché.

I heard some footsteps and Rosalie came into my room. I looked up at her.

"You were right Rose I am going to end up alone like my dad." I told her

She had a sad look on her face she went over to me on the bed and hugged me. I hugged her back not wanting to let go.

"Boys are stupid," I whispered into her shoulder.

EPOV

My crazed laughing turned into crying. I broke up with her. I had to be harsh in order to get her to see who I really was. A monster, a mean, violent, person. She hates me now. I don't blame her, but a least she's safe from me.

The cold voice was laughing in my head. I was angry, why was she laughing?

"Why are you laughing?" I asked.

'_Because you are so stupid,'_ she said

"What are you talking about?" I said to her.

'_Because, you're so funny. I can't believe you took the easy way out._' She said.

"Again what are you talking about?" I asked.

'_Haha, silly Little Edward; you're so naïve.'_ She said

The voice silenced when someone walked in.

APOV

I was sitting in the guest room when I heard the laughing. There was silence then I saw Bella walk past my door. I got up to go after her then I stopped to hear someone crying. I went to Edward's room to see who was crying when I stopped to hear him talking to himself instead. When he repeated "What are you talking about" I walked in. Edward was facing away from me, sitting on a couch in front of a coffee table.

"Edward she's in you're head again isn't she?" I asked.

Edward told me in the facility that there was a female voice in his head that always made him feel guilty. When he started taking his medication it stopped.

"Alice just go back to bed, you don't know what your talking about," he told me.

"Edward, this is serious you gotta start taking your pills again," I told him

"Leave," he simply said in a stressed voice.

"Why did Bella storm out of here, what did you say to her?" I said; I was getting pissed now.

"I ended things. It was for the best," he said in a quieter voice.

"Did you tell her the truth?" I asked.

His silence gave me my answer.

"So you just broke up with her," I yelled this time.

This time instead of answering Edward stood up pushing the coffee table over. He lunged at me backing me against a wall. He placed his both of his hands on either side of my head, and he leaned in real close and said, "Alice it's none of your business."

I looked up at him afraid of what he had become; his eyes were clouded with confusion and anger.

"Just leave," he screamed when he punched a hole in the wall near my right ear.

"Edward you're scaring me," I whispered. He stepped back and looked at me horrified.

"Hey," some one yelled from Edward's door. I looked to see that it was Emmett.

"What's going on in here?" he asked still in a loud voice.

"Nothing," I said in a weak voice. I walked around Emmett.

Edward was looking at his now bleeding hand. Emmett looked from the wall then at Edward's hand. He turned around and asked "Alice did he hurt you?"

I looked up at him about to say no, but the fear in my eyes told him otherwise.

He went over to Edward, took his shoulder and punched him in the face, twice.

Edward was on the ground by the time Emmett turned around he took my hand and started walking out of the room. He yelled over his shoulder and said, "Stay away from Bella and my cousin."

That night I cried myself to sleep. I didn't know how to help Edward anymore. If he didn't want to take his pills there's no way he'll listen to me.

In the morning I called Jasper, I just wanted to feel safe again. He picked up after the third ring.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey babe, how's the new apartment?" I asked him

"Lonely since you're not here." He said sadly. I repressed a sob.

"What wrong Alice?" he asked

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice."

BPOV

I think it was the next day, because all of a sudden there was light coming in from the window. I was sitting on my bed staring at the wall. I didn't sleep at all. Nope, not one wink. Rose had left hours ago. She thought I wasn't paying attention but I heard her slip out to make a phone call to Emmett.

'_I'm tired of wasting my time on something that's not working out' _he had said.

I stood up and walked down stairs to the back door. I went into the garage and got a can of red paint. I went upstairs and started to paint the plain white walls of my room.

I stopped my steady strokes when I head a shriek. I turned around to find Rosalie with her mouth agape.

"What did you do to your room?" she shrieked again.

"I'm making some changes," I told her.

The Next Day

"Bella are you sure you want to do this?" Leah asked me.

"For the last time yes." I said with a smile.

"Aw man, Rose is going to kill me for letting you do this." I heard her say under her breath.

"You may proceed," I told the hairdresser

After the "changes" we walked out and got into the Clearwater's family car. There was an awkward silence in the car and I noticed Leah giving me weary glances. So I decided to start a conversation.

"So how are things with Jacob?" I asked her.

She looked at me shocked. "good, but I thought since…the incident that you wouldn't want to talk about things like that,"

"Leah, you don't have to refer to Edward braking up with me as the 'incident' and I'm glad that things between you and Jacob are good again," I said honestly.

She looked at me like I was crazy. Then she turned back to driving. When we got to her house we watched the average chick flicks. I looked at all the teary eyed girls whose boy friends had dumped them; they all said they felt 'empty'. But that's not how I felt at all. Edward and I had only been going out for a month and a half. It hurt less because I hardly knew him. He never gave me a chance to actually know him.

"Hey pause it, I need to go to the bathroom," I told Leah

When I came from the bathroom I heard Leah talking on the phone. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but snippets of her conversation caught my attention.

"She seems to be taking this Edward break-up thing very well…yeah it worries me too…It's like she's pretending it doesn't hurt…yea hiding her feelings isn't going to help her situation…yeah I'm thinking intervention…"

I went into the living room and started to pick up my bag and sweater. I was walking towards the door when Leah came back into the living room.

"Bella where are you going?" she asked.

I turned around and went up the stair case. I knocked on Seth's room and he answered shirtless. I was startled and couldn't speak for a moment.

"I'm sorry what?" I said.

"um," Seth laughed, "you knocked on my door Bella," he said.

"oh right," I said shaking my head. "Uh, could you give me a ride home?" I asked.

"Bella what's wrong!" Leah shouted up the stairs.

"Please," I pleaded to Seth.

He turned in his room to reach for a shirt and put it on and said, "yeah sure"

We walked down stairs together; Leah was still in the living room.

I breezed past her and out the door, I shot her a look and she didn't say anything.

Seth dropped me off at home where Rosalie was waiting on the porch. Leah must have warned her I was coming home.

I said thanks to Seth and headed inside with Rose on my heals.

"Um, Charlie called. He said that he has to work the late shift so he said to order pizza," she said. I was in the kitchen getting something to drink when I heard Rose make an impatient noise waiting for me to speak I turned around and gave her a look.

"I like your hair," she lied. My hair, I got it cut; it's now above my shoulders. I was thinking of dying it but thought it would be too drastic.

"No you don't." I said.

She looked down knowing I had caught her in a lie.

"Look I know you guys care about me, and don't necessarily understand why I'm making changes in my life. But I wish that you would respect my decisions in changing my life so that I'll feel better about myself. But it's helping me move on from Edward. We weren't together real long but it hurt me enough to want to get over it. So this is how I'm dealing with the hurt. In a positive way," I told her honestly with a smile.

She was about to say something when I interrupted her.

"And I would appreciate it if you guys wouldn't talk about me behind my back like I'm some kind of head case who can't take care of herself; I'm not a delicate little girl. I'm can take care of my self. Even though I'll mess up along the way, doesn't mean I can't figure it out by myself. And yes I'll need your help too but don't think for a second that I'm helpless." I told her with an edge and loudness in my voice.

She looked at me with a look that held pride.

"Wow Bella," she said.

"Yeah, I know."

LATER

I was in my now painted red room listening to some sad music, you know the kind, the self help songs that relate to your feelings after a break-up. It was from my old boom box (I left my iPOD in Edward's room).

I heard footsteps and I sat up in my bed to see who it was. It was Leah.

"Now before you bite my head off I brought a white flag," she pulled her hand from behind her back to reveal some chocolate swirl ice cream.

I smiled and got up to hug her, "Bella, I didn't mean to upset you I was just worried and Rose too," she said.

"It's okay, I'm sorry stormed out of there its just I got so pissed off. I was tired of everyone treating me like a twig; I'm not going to brake.'"I told her.

We went downstairs where Rose had popcorn and all sorts of junk food out in front of the TV in the living room. We all sat down eating pizza watching comedy movies.

Were watching the move "Just My Luck" and it was near the end to the part where Lindsay Lohan gives up her luck to give it to that guy who's Captain Kerk on Star Trek (A/N: LOL I forgot his name but he was hot!). I thought that was very selfless of her and it was very romantic.

The credits were rolling and I started crying. Edward and I didn't get a chance to be romantic.

Rosalie and Leah noticed I was crying and gave me a hug.

"Remember when I said that I didn't know Edward that much, well I wanted to get to know him," I whispered and sobbed into their shoulders.

3 days later…

The sleepover lasted for 3 days. It was filled with crying, laughing, hugging, curing boys, re watching favorite scenes of our favorite movies. And we only ate junk food. It was fun, and exactly what I needed. I'm glad I had such great friends, speaking of I needed to have a talk with Alice.

I drove to the Cullen house and rang the doorbell.

Thankfully Alice opened the door to an empty house.

"Hey," she said with a smile but with a frightful look in her eye. "C'mon in," she said.

I smiled and walked in; we went to her room, the former guest room and sat down on her bed.

"So, I didn't think I'd be seeing you since you and Edward broke up. BTW I like the new haircut" She said. I smiled, I liked how forward she was, she wasn't the type to tip toe around my feelings. Very ballsy.

"Well, just because me and Edward aren't dating anymore doesn't mean we can't be friends. BTW thanks," I told her. She started bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Oh goody Bella, I'm so glad you said that now we can go shopping together," she said. My eyes widen then I said, "What the hell, I'm willing to try new things," I said with a smile.

We talk for about an hour about what we liked and disliked; we tried to get to know each other as much as possible. The phone rang and it was Jasper. Alice started to talk to him; she said she'd only be a minute. I slipped out to go to the bathroom.

On my way back to Alice's room, I saw that Edward's room at the end of the hall was closed. It's now or never. I gotta get my iPOD back.

I knocked on the door. No one answered. I barged in and started looking for it. I checked under the bed and there it was beside a pair of converse. I reached my hand under the bed to get it and felt some thing small. I pulled the object and my iPOD from underneath the bed. The object was a small bottle of pills. It was prescribed to Edward. It said to take two pills twice a day to prevent mood swings and other symptoms of Bi-polarism.

Bi-polarism?

I put the bottle back under the bed and left the room with my iPOD. I closed the door behind him and looked up to see Alice staring t me.

"He went out." She simply said.

"I wasn't looking for him, I just wanted to get my iPOD back." I told her.

We talked some more and then I left to go home.

When I got home Charlie wasn't home and Rose was on a date with Emmett. So I had the whole house to myself. I went my room and plugged my iPOD into some speakers and played my music loud. I went to the laptop and Googled Bi polar.

**Results:**

**People who suffer from being bi polar have a chemical in balance in their brain.**

**Without the proper medication they have violent mood swings.**

Mood swings? Edward never had mood swings when we were dating. Not that I remembered. No wonder he didn't want to talk about his past. He had a condition that he didn't want me to know about. Maybe his breaking up with me was a mood swing. I don't know what to make of any of this. Well his condition is his business, I have to respect that, and respect why he didn't tell me. I guess he didn't want anyone to know.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: okay so I recently got a review that made me smile. If I could help people through my writing then I'll die a happy girl. But seriously people this is all dramatized. And this isn't really a love story. It's mostly about life and its hardships. When you can't think for yourself and you rely on other people to make the decisions for you or let people stir you to another direction, then you know you need to make some life changes. The main characters of my story have their own issues they have to deal with themselves. I hope as my characters progress they'll figure out how to make their own decisions by listening to their hearts not a silly guilty conscience or voice in their head.**

**Again sorry if I offended anyone with my plot, if you don't like the story you are welcome to drop it.**

**Oh &&& I own nothing, SM does.**

EPOV

It's been 3 days, I think. I don't know how long I've been in here. All I know is that I'm all alone. Emmett and Alice hate me because I broke up with Bella. And every time I think of Bella's expression when I broke up with her I cry like a little baby. All I know is that I hurt her really bad. I just wanted her to be safe, away from me. I had to be harsh in order for her to be safe. And I know how that sounds.

If Bella knew about my past, what I did, she wouldn't want to be with me. She'd think I was a monster. I never meant to hurt Tanya. It all got out of control. I loved her.

'_If you loved me you wouldn't have hurt me.' _

It's like this dark side of me took control of my body and just let out all the anger. I got jealous and obsessive of Tanya. I wanted to protect her from all the bad things of the world and at the same time I wanted no one to have her but me.

X Flashback x

_Group Session_

"_Hi I'm Edward," I said._

"_Hi Edward," Everyone chimed_

_I was a silent for a while and then the doctor urged me to continue._

"_I'm because I beat my girlfriend and put her in a coma," I said. I closed my eyes. I didn't want see the judgmental stares everyone was giving me._

_I felt some one grab my hand. I opened my eyes to see Alice's small hand in mine. She looked at me with encouraging eyes._

"_Edward, we're not here to judge we're here to listen," she whispered._

_She held my hand tightly trying to give me some much needed confidence to continue._

"_When we first started going out, we were happy. And then our friend started hanging around us becoming our third wheel. It was getting on my nerves so I told him to give us our space. HE got upset and started hanging with my girlfriend...you know just the two of them. If felt like cheating to me. I told her I didn't like him and I didn't want her hanging with him anymore. She got mad and tried to leave so I twisted her arm and pushed her against the wall. I was really angry so I kicked her in the back. After that I hit her a couple of times. Then one night…she wanted to break up with me and she punched me in the face and then all I remember is my hands being bloody and she was unconscious on the floor." I said with tears in my eyes._

_Alice's grip on my hand remained tight. I couldn't believe that after what I just revealed to the group that she wasn't running out of the room screaming, 'MONSTER'. Just like the voice in my head keeps screaming._

Xxx

There's one thing the voice said that I don't understand.

"What did you mean when you said, I took the easy way out?" I asked

'_Instead of having the balls, you hurt your precious girlfriend.'_

"at least she's safe, what do expect me to do? Show her how I'm a monster?" I said

'_no, you idiot. I expect you to be a man and take responsibility. Stop running away from your problems.' _She said.

I was silent.

'_do I have to spell it out for you? You could have told her the truth.'_ The voice said.

"Why on earth would I do that?"

'_I bet she'd respect you more if you told her the truth, just like Alice'_ she said.

Then the door bell rang.

I was hoping it was Bella when I opened the door I was surprised to see none other than the voice in my head…Tanya.

"Edward I finally found you." She yelled and threw her arms around me.

She kissed me. I felt right and wrong at the same time but I kissed her back.

I invited her inside and we sat in the living room. She told me how she was on her way back to Oakland from visiting her sister in Alaska. She told me she was here for an appointment with Carlisle about her amnesia.

Amnesia. That means she doesn't remember much. I guess she doesn't remember what I did to her. I really want it to stay like that but that voice in my head said, _'Be a man Edward, take responsibility for your actions.'_

"Tanya, um Carlisle is out with his wife right now," I said awkwardly.

"Well, that's okay. Now that I found you, we really need to talk," she said.

"Okay," I said.

"Why did you leave after my accident?" she asked.

"Well it's complicated," I said looking down.

"Well, uncomplicate it." She said.

"Tanya, how much do you remember before your accident." I asked her.

She looked past me with a far away look in her eye. I guess she was trying to remember before.

"To tell you the truth, not much. I only remember snippets of you from my dreams."

I looked at her sadly, I did that.

'_Fix it.'_ The voice said.

I ran my hand through her now short blond hair. I felt something hard at the back of her head.

"Oh, they had to put a metal plate in my head. The guy that did this to me did a number huh." She said with a hint of anger in her voice.

"It was so weird because know that we're dating but Demetri told me that he and I were together. I think he's trying to break us up." She said looking to the side.

She took her hand and placed in on my cheek. The bruise Emmett left was slowly going away.

TPOV

Edward had a faint bruise on his face near his nose. I wish I could make it go away. I distinctly remember him having a bruise similar to this…

"Tanya, I have to talk to you about what happened before the 'Accident' which wasn't an accident," he said.

He looked down sadly like he didn't really want to tell me.

"Look whatever it is, I'm here to listen" I told him.

"You were attacked," he said slowly.

"Thank you captain obvious, look Edward just please get to the point, I'm ready." I said a little impatiently. I took his hand to encourage him.

"Okay, when we were going out, I um, well I got a little obsessive of you and I started to..." I squeezed his hand trying to give him confidence. I wasn't really sure what he was trying to tell me but…

"Started to what?" I asked him

"Lets just say I wasn't the best boyfriend" he said

"Edward stop being coy with me and tell me the truth. All thru this trip I've been lied to and everyone seems to be side stepping the truth, so just say it. Please I need to know why you left." I told him

"Your not going to like this. But after your accident some doctors took some tests on me and I found out that I'm Bi Polar. I checked my self into a facility to deal with my problems. To deal with what I did." He said looking down.

"What did you do?" I asked and squeezed his hand.

I looked into his green eyes to see tears. I was shocked so I pulled him into a hug. I didn't want him to be sad.

"Edward, what's wrong, your scaring me please just tell me." I said.

He bearded his face into my neck still crying.

"I'm so sorry Tanya. I never truly meant to hurt you. Ever. I never meant for this to happen. I was just angry at you because you said you wanted to break up. Something just took over and I started hitting you and I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop…" he said into my shoulder.

What? What did he mean by he couldn't stop? What was he saying?

I pushed him away from me and stood up way too fast. I started to get dizzy. He looked up at me, tears still in his eyes.

I backed away from him and screamed, "What did you do to me?"

I backed up a couple more steps and fainted…

**Dream/ Flashback**

"_Tanya, why were you at the library talking to Demetri? I thought we agreed you weren't going to be friends with him anymore." Edward said._

"_Uhh…we had to meet for a school project. And I never decided not to be friends with him. You just assumed since you didn't like him that I would stop talking to him. And Why are you following me?" I said with anger in my voice._

"_I don't want you to see him anymore. And I heard what you were saying. You can't leave me." he said_

" _I'm sorry Edward, this is getting more and more complicated. I think we shouldn't see each other anymore. Since the last couple months, its been painful, physical and emotionally."_

"_What are you talking about, I would never hurt you."_

_I rose my shirt over my stomach to show a big long scar, and rose my shirt sleeve to show multiple bruises. He looked terrified at me._

"_There are more I can show you, there's a bruise on my neck that you left yesterday. Oh and a gashes on my legs when you kicked me."_

"_Those were all accidents, and you know it. You made me angry. You made me do it."_

_I punched him in the face. His nose is bleeding. He looked at me confused. "What'd you do that for?"_

"_You made me do that, you made me angry. I'm so sorry Edward, it was accident" I say in a mocking tone. "That's how you sound. Ridiculous. Please leave. I don't want to see you anymore."_

"_What?" he yelled and lunged toward me._

Then I woke up. I remember…everything.

EPOV

I stared at the ceiling of my room. Tanya was in Carlisle's office talking about me.

I did it again. I hurt her. I didn't try to. But the look on her face I knew I did it again. I never meant to hurt her.

'_it doesn't matter what you meant to happen. It just did. You have no control over it.'_

The voice in my head is starting to confuse me. I don't understand her. She sounds like Tanya. Not the sweet one I fell for.

The voice was angry and hurt. She deserves to sound like that. Its all my fault.

I can't do anything right.

Why?

I messed up everything with Tanya.

'_let's not forget Bella.'_

That's different. I was protecting her.

'_From what?'_

Me. I'm a monster.

…

"Who are you talking to?"

I hadn't realized I was speaking a lot until Emmett asked.

"What?" I sat up and looked at him. I hope if I played dumb he would just ignore me.

"You were speaking to yourself," he said quietly.

"No I wasn't."

'_Yes you were'_

"Shut up." I said aloud

Emmett looked at me confused. I forgot he wasn't the one who spoke.

'_Monster.'_

Stop I thought

'_abuser'_

'_Jerk'_

Stop

'_Do you remember the bruises Edward?'_

Please

'_I hate you'_

…

'_Bella hates you'_

Don't

"Edward what's going on?" he asked his voice thick with concern.

'_Edward's going crazy that what'_ she said loud this time, then she started to laugh.

"Stop it." I said and looked past Emmett, not really staring at anything.

Emmett turned around expecting to see someone there and then he looked back at me confused.

The laughs in my head started to get louder and louder and louder and I couldn't tune it out.

"Stop it." I repeated.

"STOP IT!" I yelled.

She kept laughing.

"Ahhhh Get Outta My Head" I screamed and started hitting my self in the head trying to make the voice stop.

"Edward." Emmett said.

I looked up at him this time my eyes were getting teary. I got up and ran past him down the stairs out the front door to where my car was parked.

I started the car and drove as far away from the house I could. I didn't know where I was going until I got there.

I knocked on the door and when the person I wanted to see opened the door the voices stopped.

BPOV

I woke up early in the morning and decided to clean out my room and closet. Ugh after cleaning under the bed I noticed how every surface of my room was dusty. Disgusting. I decided to clean everything. I cleaned off my dresser and re organized my clothes (I noticed some of my clothes are very old and don't really fit anymore (hrm, I guess I'll mention that to Alice). I cleaned my closet getting rid of some old worn shoes and other crap that was crowding my closet. At the back of my closet I found an old painting of mine.

Wow, I remember this. I painted it the summer before third grade. It was a painting of La Push. I remember liking art. I guess I lost interest in after middle school.

I headed into the bathroom and looked around. Ew.

I had to scrub and mop every inch of my bathroom with hot water and anti bacteria soap.

It took a lot of work but by the 3:00 I was done.

I started washing the window in my room when I noticed a car in my driveway.

I went downstairs to greet Emmett. (A/N: Emmett is visiting Bella the night after Edward's incident w/ Alice)

He looked troubled.

I let him into the house he looked up at me sadly.

"Emmett what's wrong?" I asked him.

"Bella I'm going to tell you something…I just need you to listen okay," she said while looking at me with weary eyes.

I nodded for him to continue.

"Promise me you'll stay away from Edward." He simply said.

"What?" I said with agitation in my voice. He can't tell me hat to do.

"Promise," he demanded.

I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Why?" I asked him

"He's dangerous and not good for you," he said and stood up. He balled and unballed his fists.

I stood up too and pointed my right index finger and poked him in his chest and looked up at him with defiance in my hands.

"No. I will do what I please okay. You may act like my big bother but you can't tell me what to do. If I wanna see whoever, I will. I'm tied of everyone treating me like a kid. Do this don't do that. No Bella. I don't need you to hold my hand. I don't need Edward either okay. I'm fine just being me. And if he can't see that, then I wouldn't want to be with him anyway." I said.

I turned around and let the tears fall freely.

Emmett must have heard my sniffles because he turned me around and gave me one of his famous back braking hugs.

He sat me down on the couch and I cried on his shoulder. Just like old times when someone made fun of me or hurt my feelings.

I was confused why I was crying about Edward in the first place. Yeah he hurt me. But I didn't know what the reason was behind the break up. He said it was because he was "wasting his time". I was conflicted because apart of me now thought it was about his condition. My heart just wants to use that excuse and hope that Edward will be Edward again and want to hold my hand like we did a couple weeks ago. But then my brain comes in with its logic and says: Bella you don't even know who Edward is.

Boys suck!

After I stopped crying Emmett left and I went back to my chores

When Rosalie and Charlie got home dinner was done, the laundry was washed and I was already asleep.

I was worn out from today's events that I just crashed.

**Dream**

**Me and Edward were sitting in his room listening to music. I brought over the new Radiohead CD In Rainbows; I wanted him to listen to the song 15 step.**

**-I decided to just go with the dream and bask in this bliss with Edward. To ignorantly forget about our break up in reality.**

"**What do you want to listen to next?" he asked me.**

"**Umm, I brought Radiohead's new CD." I said with a smile.**

"**Nahh, how about Coldplay." He said already turning to put the cd in. **

**I sniffed and said playfully, "Radiohead is so much better than Coldplay."**

"**No. Coldplay is better." He said annoyed,**

"**Radiohead." I said.**

"**Coldplay," he said bitterly**

"**Radiohead."**

"**Coldplay" his voice rising.**

"**Sucks eggs," I said and started to laugh.**

**And then I felt it. Before I even registered what happened I felt the blood come from my split lip and landed on my shirt. **

**Edward back handed me.**

"**You made me do it Bella," he raised his hand to slap me again…**

_I woke up sweaty in a sitting position breathing hard. _

_When my breathing slowed to normal I went to the bathroom. I splashed my self with water turned off the faucet and looked at myself in the mirror. _

_My eyes had circles under them. I looked in the mirror to see a figure behind me when I saw Edward's green eyes._

_He came into full view smiled then pushed my head forcibly to the mirror._

Then I woke up screaming.


End file.
